Chinese Superstitions

Today Is Chinese Ghost Festival

Ghost Festival always falls on the 15th day of the seventh month on the lunar calendar. Historically, people prepared offerings to pay respect to their deceased ancestors. Ghost Festival also coincides with the religious Buddhist holiday. Supposedly, all the lost souls from the underworld are free to come to earth on this day and feast on the offerings that people prepare for them.

This tradition is more than a ‘fiesta’ for the spirits from the underworld. The ritual of burning paper money is for the deceased family members as well as every no-name ghost out there.

I can never understand the purpose of burning paper money. When my grandfather passed away at the age of 97, we not only burned paper money but also a mansion, a Benz, a Rolax, a closet full of clothing (lots of hats…he loved hats!), a set of Mahjong, two servants, a driver, and every material thing that any living person desires. Of course, everything was made of paper. One of my aunts who is a Buddhist nun (I really think she’s a lesbian in disguise!) explained to me that paper money is the intangible currency in the afterlife.

“Ummm, should we burn a paper wife? How about a paper mistress? Grandpa will appreciate that. He always wanted one. He’s finally separated from grandma. They had separate bedrooms ever since grandpa’s 50th birthday. So, I would assume that he couldn’t wait to get away from her. He’d waited for 47 years. I think we should indulge him. Besides, I’m sure grandpa needs a companion as he starts a new life up there.”

Everyone disregarded my idea. Grandpa, it’s the thought that counts and I really tried to get you a new woman!

Anyway, this tradition is not environmentally friendly and a definite fire hazard. People burn stacks of paper money in the streets and ashes just fly all over the place, not to mention the smokes that get into your eyes.

We Are In The Midst of The Ghost Month

The seventh lunar month is also known as the Ghost month. Nobody says you cannot get married during this month but it’s a taboo to do so. However, there are so many taboos - i.e. moving and traveling is considered a taboo. So, I’m not even sure if sex is allowed during the Ghost month.

During ghost month, people regard every accident as a paranormal activity and blame it on the ghosts that are running wild on earth. Ghost month is the only time they can escape from hell and come up for a grand time. Ghost month is sort of a vacation for them.

This is just in! China Times reports that a subway train crashed into rails of trains parked in the station as the operator drove into the final stop and failed to pull the brake. The driver wasn’t under the influence of any substance. He wasn’t working overtime. The preliminary speculation on the accident is that the driver was ‘hallucinating.’ Uh-huh…maybe he saw a ghost waving at him, he freaked out and forgot to step on the brake.

Let The Gods and Goddesses Give You A Hand!

If you want to break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend but can’t seem to have the heart to do it, leave it up to the Chinese gods and goddesses.

My ex JC once told me that it’s a taboo for couples to enter the temples together. He and his ex Annie broke up soon after a trip to the temples.

Me: Why did you bring her to the temple when you obviously know there’s such a taboo?

JC: As long as the couple enters separately, then it’s okay. But she insisted on going in together and ignored the taboo I warned her already.

Me: Y’know…Chinese ancient mythology makes no sense.

JC: Most Chinese gods and goddesses are deified humans and some of them were never married. It’s just a simple respect to visit them as an individual rather than as a couple.

Me: WHAT?! You think they get jealous or something when they see couples in love?! Yap, they’re human all right….

JC and I never visited any temple together and we broke up anyway. This is a paradox because he got back together with Annie right after our breakup.

Water Is Gonna Get You!

If you followed the presidential election in Taiwan earlier this year, you know that it is an unsolved mystery. Half of the population voted against the incumbent president. Some say that ever since Taiwan President Chen Shui-Bian’s inauguration in 2000, Taiwan has had floods all over the island. The day he sworn in as the 11th president for the Republic of China, it rained like cats and dogs.

If you break down the characters in the president’s first name one by one – Shui (water) and Bian (get your ass kicked); it literally means, “Get your ass kicked by water.”

I can’t tell you if there’s any direct link between the typhoon casualties and the president’s first name. It seems unfair to blame it on him. After all, his parents or someone else gave him that name when he was born.

It does seem like Taiwan has suffered huge losses every time a typhoon hits the island. Mudslides washed away houses and the people who were sleeping inside. Floods turned schoolyards into giant swimming pools. What I do not understand is that why does every typhoon bring floods or mudslides. And the prices for fruit and vegetables are for sure to go up after the typhoon is gone.

Last week there was only 3 working days due to typhoon holidays – no work or school.

Actually, it was quite scary. The rainstorm seemed to worsen by the minute, the strong wind was blowing like crazy and all sorts of objects were flying in the sky as if there was a tornado.

Quirky and Simon decided to have a “Typhoon Party.” I’m a party girl and of course, I couldn’t afford to miss it. As I looked out the window, I didn’t think I could brave it out and drive in such a terrible weather condition to a party!

Luckily, I didn’t take the chance and stayed home like everyone else. Many people took an advantage of the no-work day and went out in the storm. Unknown flying objects hit them and the E.R.s were packed with partygoers who wanted to have a little fun on a typhoon night.

It could happen to me if I insisted on going to the typhoon party! I guess I’m not such a hardcore party girl anymore. I can put up my party shoes now.

We are still in the typhoon season. Stay safe, kids.

In this picture, you're supposed to see a basketball court. Instead, you're looking at a swimming pool.

The day after the typhoon
(Source: United Daily)

Single vs. Married

I Don't Want Kids

In two months, I will be 31. If you were to ask me when I was 15, I would have told you that by 30, I’d be happily married to my prince charming and become a trophy wife. I think most girls grow up thinking like that until they find out that reality bites! Getting married ain't nothing like what we read in the fairy tales. Think Charles and Diana - The prince and the princess don’t always live happily ever after.

On the night of my 25th birthday bash, I made a vow – I will only have kids if I can get pregnant before the age of 30. The reason is rather silly. Back then, I learned that it is easier to lose the extra pounds gained during pregnancy if you give birth before 30. In other words, it’s increasingly difficult to lose the excess weight as women enter their 30s.

The truth is the older I become, the more I realize that I DO NOT WANT KIDS. Then I thought, “Ummm, I don’t need to be married if I don’t plan to have kids.”

It’s interesting to talk about kids with my gay friends. Almost each one of them wants to be a parent in the future. So I offer them my eggs and they just need to find a surrogate mother to endure the nine-month pregnancy. LOL.

Someone said to me once, “You don’t know what you’re missing!” Obviously, that someone was happily married. Maybe I should check back and see if there’s any recent change since that comment.

On the other hand, I’ve been told that I ain’t missing out on any of that marriage stuff.

Back In the Good ol’ Days

Sometimes I look at pictures from my college partying days and I can’t believe how ‘scary’ looking I was. The ultra-thin eyebrows and the gothic-looking makeup, and the 3 inch plus platforms– everything is black. Maybe that was the trend.

Back then, I had a group of close girlfriends. We always talked about boys, parties, sex, shopping and then more boys. We imagined what our weddings would be like in 10 years time and wondered who would be the first among us to tie the knot. Nonetheless, the bonding provided us moral support, especially when one of us had just gone thru a tragic breakup.

Sisterhood is awesome. When one of us was in relationship troubles, the rest of us would stand up for her and bail her out of misery. When the girls had difficulties choosing one lucky man among her multiple suitors, we would sit down and compose a comparison chart to analyze her prospects. When someone had a secret crush, we would approach the man in mystery, find out everything there was to know about him, and advise him on his first move. We would even match her first name to his last name just to hear the sound of it!

Present Day

As I look around, maybe half of my friends are now strings-attached. I’m a believer and I always think of marriage as a wonderful thing. The idea of living celibate has never crossed my mind. My parents set a good example for me. Despite being cynical about love and relationship from time to time, I do believe in marriage and the positive reinforcement it brings into the relationship.

Sometimes I envy the married couples when they seem so lovey dovey with each other. On romantic holidays are when it hurts the most, as if being single is such an awful sin. Look at it this way; at least they have escaped from the cruel reality of the dating scene. No more games, y’know. The thing about relationships is that the result is sweet but the process is bittersweet and sometimes painful. It will be so nice if every relationship was smooth sailing. I can do without the mind games. You like me! Great. You don’t like me! Good-bye and good luck. Simple as that.

I cannot stand stupidity or the nonsense arguments. Personally, I have never dealt with nasty bickering but I’ve seen it happened again and again thru other people’s relationships.

Some couples do seem to have it all. A great marriage, successful careers, double incomes, luxurious vacations, a fabulous lifestyle, a beautiful home etc.

However, there are times when I’m just glad to be single.

Last week a friend spent a night at my place. The guest room was under renovation and we had to share my bed. It’s been almost four months since there’s an extra person in bed with me. My bed is a comfortable queen size one. I like to hog the bed all to myself. That night I actually hurt my back when my friend crashed here. I curled up on one side of the bed. I normally just roll around freely and that’s how I sometimes wake up on the wrong side of the bed, ha ha. When I got up the next day, I was tired and my back was sore. After he left, I had to rest in bed because my back was killing me – stiff and aching.

Honestly, I can hardly get any good nights sleep when the boyfriend sleeps over. Sure, I love the sex but it will be nice if he can go home to his bed afterwards. He likes to spoon me and I just roll up like a cooked shrimp sleeping in his arms. Sounds romantic? Well, I like it too as long as it’s not like that every night. It’s not so romantic when I get up the next morning. I am just cranky and bitchy because I didn’t sleep well.

My mom said, “What are you gonna do if you’re married? You won’t share the bed with your husband?”

“Get a king size bed. Better yet, get two queen size ones and put a zipper in the middle. Zip them up if we want to get naked; otherwise, he can have his side and I can sleep on my side. That way, we can ensure quality sleep” Gosh, I’m brilliant!

Do Singles Have All the Fun?

Most of the people I used to go out to parties with are now married and married couples don’t hit the club scenes. They think only single people does that. The ones that are still single but then they just don’t go out as often now. After a certain age, it takes longer to recover from a night of hardcore partying and drinking. Back then, I was best known as the “Energizer Bunny” in the clubs. I could dance all night until the music stopped. My friends had long passed out on the couch and they were just waiting for me to say the magic phrase, “Let’s go home now!” I would bounce from the dance floor all the way to my car as if I could still hear the music in my head.

Now I rarely go out. I’m sort of a hermit comparing to my glorious days as the party queen. When Friday night came around, it’s party time! It was almost an obligation to go out because the weekend had begun! Sure, I still love a good party. Every so often, I’ll go out with a few good friends for a nice dinner and drinks. We’ll let it all hang out and just be silly the whole night. Then we spend the next two days in recovery.

I like having people over to my place. Good food, good wine, good friends, good conversations, what more can you ask for? It seems like I’m getting too old to be going out to clubs now. When I do meet people in the clubs, often they’re younger than me. They’re like college kids or just fresh out of school. Then I get irritated when I’m stuck in a noisy and crowded space. I become so claustrophobic and I get annoyed quickly when I lose personal space.

Overall, I do enjoy the freedom, the independence, and the flexibility that being single offers. I only have to be responsible for myself and myself only. I don’t have to worry about mortgage and car payments. I have disposable income to take twice-a-year vacations, splurge on nice things for myself, and go on shopping sprees when I’m in the mood.

I don’t know if I can ever give all of it up.

What Happens When A Party Girl Becomes a Full-Time Mom

I asked my best friend Eri the following questions. She’s now a wife and a full-time mother. She seems happy, genuinely happy. To me, Eri is still the same person. We still click and we have 100% understanding for each other.

1. Are you happy with your marriage and being a stay-at-home mom?
2. If you had a second chance, wouldl you choose marriage over single life?
3. For you, what’s the biggest difference between singlehood and marriage so far?

This is what she has to say about marriage and motherhood.

Now that I'm a Mom, I'm so happy being home, spending time with my son teaching him the most I can teach him. Wherever I go, I take him with me. I think I'm really happy doing this now is because I have partied myself out. When you're single, the only responsibility you have is yourself and the world can really only revolve around you and that's the way I spent my single life. I just did whatever I wanted to do. You can go out, come home the morning after, go to sleep in the morning, wake up in the evening, go out again: oh yeah, remember to take a shower and to eat something at least. You can get any kind of job wherever you want to relocate.

When you're married and have kids, everything, especially for me, revolves around my son. Marriage itself I guess is something that people really have to work on unless it's a perfectly "no problem" marriage. You know how I have spent my single life, and when I look back, it was crazy. It was a rock 'n roll lifestyle.

I didn't want to regret not partying or doing other stuff I could have experienced. Once I had a kid, and in that department, I know I've succeeded. I really cannot keep myself awake after 11p.m. So there. Only "uncool" people show up to parties before 12A.M. and my party would have to be over before people even get there.

As for me, having Justin was probably the best thing I've ever done - not the delivery part though. Why do you think I'm not planning on having any more kids??? I still even breastfeed and Justin's already one year old.

Being selfish and self-centered changes once you give birth. Once you see the baby's face, the selfishness will be all gone because the first month of the baby's life, you'll forget that you even existed. You'll just be so exhausted; more exhausted that when you were dancing all night like an Energizer bunny. You'll know what I mean when you have one.

I’m really happy for Eri. This is what I expect to hear from a married woman. I want to hear encouragements and good things about marriage because sometimes I freak out when I hear “lifetime commitment.” It’s their job as the married women to tell us, the single gals that marriage is something we can look forward to in the future. It’s their job to tell us that raising a baby is one of the most wonderful things on earth. Gosh, maybe I am missing out!

When Romance Is Missing After Marriage

Shannon and I used to work at the same company. We were in different departments and had little interactions. We bumped into each other recently. Neither of us works there anymore and now we finally started getting to know each other.

Despite not knowing Shannon well back then, I did know a few things, bits and pieces about her from other co-workers. Gray once said, “You two are very different Chinese girls even though you were educated in the States. She is looking to get married and you are partying like there’s no tomorrow!”

Shannon went on a TV matchmaking show. Her intention was to meet a good prospect and she found him. Soon after, they were engaged and married in a matter of few months.

Lately, as I get to know her, I notice that she seems to enjoy solitude more than single folks do. When her husband and her daughter went to visit her mother-in-law, she enjoyed a quiet weekend at home alone. I understand the need to have personal space and time to ourselves. However, I assume that a married couple with children probably can enjoy some quality family time together on the weekends since the spouses are busy with work during the week.

She asked herself this question “Is there any possibility of romance ever again in my marriage?” Her answer is “I DUNNO.”

We met for coffee recently and had a grand time catching up. I wanted to know if she is happily married. She nodded her head, smiled and replied, “Yes!”

Then a few days later, she sent me an Email and discussed in details about marriage. She assured me that I’m not missing out on any of the marriage stuff.

I was like you, single and had disposable money and I traveled a lot. I still wonder why I gave all that up. Was it love? I thought so. But I'm not sure anymore.

The stark truth is, we hardly make love anymore. We have sex perhaps twice a month, maybe less. The most shocking of all, is that I DON'T MIND! Sure we were more active when we first got married, but I can tell you, that I had no idea why the world goes oooh and aaah's over sex. What's the big deal? Is it all that enjoyable? We were active b/c we were newlyweds. But after 4 years, it's just old. We don't even kiss anymore, and the thing is, I DON'T MIND!! Again! I wonder if we're depriving each other of bodily pleasure. I'm sure it's so. But there's no magic, no sparks, no joy. I don't mind taking separate vacations (honestly, I don't like vacations that much, they disrupt my routine), I get a bigger kick out of reading/swimming than going to bed with my husband. What's wrong with me? And if anyone was to ask me if I was happy in my marriage, I would say, sure, it's ok.

Then I decided that it's just life. When it comes down to the nitty gritty, it's hard to get all romantic. And truth be told, I don't even have the energy to do anything romantic with my husband. The greatest pleasures for me now, are 1, get plenty of sleep; 2, work and make money, and 3, go for a dip in the pool. I even get up at 2 in the morning to catch the Olympics swimming finals b/c there's always something to learn from watching the swimming greats.

Enjoy yourself at the lounge bar, playing host, and whatnot. Those are privileges married women like us won't enjoy (playing host maybe, but that'll have to wait until the kids are grown).

I am awed into silence.


Girl Talk With Shannon

Has Marriage Become A Joke?

There are couples rushing into marriage and it just seems that they take their vows lightly. Just think Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Nikki Hilton, Dennis Rodman, and Nicolas Cage among other celebrities.

Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. Divorce was so rare back then. Married women in the past may stay in unhappy marriages because they didn’t know what else they could do if they were to leave it all behind.

So, I wonder if modern women’s independence has much to do with the increasing divorce rate. Clearly, women today have more options. They can choose to leave their marriage if things don't work out.

Look Before You Leap

A girl I know of thru a mutual friend recently relocated to Arizona for a guy she met online. He’s IT; he’s her prince charming; he’s the one she’s been searching all along. I’m not clear on the details. All I know is that they started talking about a future together. Then she packed up her bags and left Taiwan, a place she called home for many years.

Reality hits when she starts to live in the same city as he does. In friendships, you get to know your friends in a deeper level when you travel together. In relationships, you begin to find out everything you ought to know about your better half, good and bad, all at once.

She knows about his gambling habit though she has never seen him in action. He wastes money in gambling and complains about spending $15 on a dinner for two. Then she finds out he has a $30,000 credit card debt. He still continues to gamble and makes payments on the interests. The $30,000 debt stays intact.

She tries to convince him to start paying off his debt and working toward a better future together. He gets annoyed and tells her to stop acting like a nagging Chinese girl because she’s no longer in Taiwan. Well, she cannot become a nagging Chinese girlfriend because she’s naturally blond and she is white. Nonetheless, his comment is just insulting, period. Especially given the fact that although he was raised in the US…HE IS CHINESE!

She found out that she’s pregnant one month after her relocation but then she had a miscarriage.

She was on the verge of leaving her single life and leaping into marriage. Can she change this man and pull him away from gambling? Probably not. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Married for Love or Else?

Sometimes I do worry about being single for the rest of my life. My mom’s fortuneteller says to me, “Don’t worry. You are destined to be with someone. You will get married. Be patient. Your time hasn’t come.” Uh-huh, thanks.

Last year my soul mate James and I made a secret pact (not a secret anymore!). We will run off together to get married if we both remain single 4 years from now.

If my plan with James doesn’t work out, I can always rely on my gay boys as long as gay marriage is not legalized all around the world. We can get a place together and look out for each other. We can become the Golden Girls and enjoy our golden age together.

I always follow my heart and do what feels right. Obviously, I haven’t met the person who makes me want to take a plunge into marriage. Deep down, I’m still hopeful. I know he’s out there somewhere waiting to find me…hehe.

Not everyone got married for the same reason. I know someone in a marriage of convenience. So far so good. He has his own life and she is free to date whomever she likes. The worst scenario is when people get married because they’re afraid of being alone. They’re in this co-dependent relationship.

Melody didn’t marry the man she loved. He was abusive. Then she married the man who promised to take care of her in sickness and health. He’s her meal ticket.

Some people did it for love.

Patricia married her college sweetheart. They were on and off a few times. Finally, he realized that she’s the best thing ever happened to him. I’ve visited them numerous times since they tied the knot. Maybe she’s my friend and therefore I’m bias. From what I’ve seen, it seems like she has to put up with him, his selfishness and his macho ego. I’m sure he does nice things for her, too. Every time I’m there, I’m amazed to see what she is willing to do for him and I wonder if he ever notices. She contemplates whether she can splurge on a $40 handbag when he buys only brand name clothing. She has to compromise much more in order to make this marriage work.

Eri got married because she partied herself out. She couldn’t stay up past 11 pm and couldn’t stand the loud music at the clubs anymore. She was ready to get out of her rock n’ roll lifestyle. Then she had her son, Justin – the best thing ever happened to her.

I want to make the best out of my single life and enjoy it to the fullest. Marriage will come when I’m ready to have the man of my dreams sleeping next to me every night for the rest of my life. After all, I do intend to be a one man’s woman.

The only question is…When?

Absolutely Wasted!

How Well Do You Hold Your Liquor?

Did you hear about this last week?

SEATTLE, Washington (Reuters) -- A black bear was found passed out at a campground in Washington state recently after guzzling down three dozen cans of a local beer, a campground worker said on Wednesday (August 18).

This two-year-old bear used his claws and teeth to open the beer cans. He’s one sophisticated bear. He first tried a mass-market Busch beer but switched to Rainier, a local brand of ale and ended up having 36 of it.

The bear must be a beer lover. He came back for more the next day. The wildlife agents set up a booby trap with honey (all bears love honey, right?), doughnuts (could they be Krispy Kreams? LOL!), and two cans of Rainier beer.

He's Allergic to Alcohol

Some people hold their liquor well; some are sloppy drunk; some are happy drunk. Then there are people who are allergic to alcohol. I had a boyfriend who is allergic to alcohol. I didn’t think it was possible until we met. It’s like any other allergy, I guess. I had a boyfriend who was allergic to dust and he lives in LA. Go figure! Some of my friends are allergic to mango and shrimp. Anyway, this guy couldn’t even touch any food that’s been marinated in cooking wine.

On our first date, we had dinner at a fusion restaurant and I ordered a dish called the Drunken Chicken. I didn’t think much about it. It’s like cold cuts, you know. He took a bite and said, “It tastes funny. Does it have alcohol in it?” Then I told him the chicken is marinated in rice wine. “Well, then…I can’t have any of it. I’m allergic to alcohol.” “What? You’re kidding me! You can’t even drink on your birthday?!”

I consider myself a social drinker. I don’t go crazy with drinking. The truth is I don’t even like the taste of it. However, my drinking history goes back in time. I started drinking at a young age because my dad would let me have a little alcohol at family gatherings. It was no big deal. All my cousins would have a sip or two when the occasions rose for a toast. I was 13 when my grandfather had his big bash for turning 80. Gotta drink to that! When I was 15, we took a family trip to Europe. Gotta drink to that! You can’t be in Europe and not taken the advantage of the good wines there!

I’m A Happy Drunk

Maybe once or twice a year, I just let it all hang out and go beyond tipsy. Usually it’s my birthday bash and that’s when you’ll catch me drinking like a fish. Despite being a social drinker myself, it would have been more fun if my boyfriend could consume just a little. He called me a happy drunk. I really am. I’m already flirtatious. When I’m under the influence, I’m just a big flirt and I’ll flirt with complete strangers.

It was my 28th birthday and I had this huge dinner party. 50 or more guests showed up. We had an Italian buffet featuring all you can drink red and white wine – good ones, too. So, everyone was getting wasted and my boyfriend was the only person who’s sober. You can’t blame him. He’s allergic to alcohol. Besides, he could take care of me when I’m completely gone. On the other hand, it’s really no fun for him when everyone is feeling Happy Happy Joy Joy and he was just wide-awake. He probably was annoyed by a room full of drunken people.

Oh yeah, we were silly. For photo op, I just had to sit on every man’s lap. It’s like a birthday ritual for me. Whether they’re there with a date or not, I took once a year opportunity and posed for a Kodak moment. When the pictures came out, they’re all of me sitting on my guy friends’ laps or me hugging and kissing somebody.

Then my friend Tomi (what a crazy girl!) told her boyfriend Peter to kiss my thigh…my inner thigh! So, I had to hike up my dress so that he could do it while Tomi took the picture! It was good clean fun. No harm was done.

Then my boss showed up and he’s like 3 hours late. So we decided to punish him. Aside from chuckling three glasses of wine in one setting, he had to put on lipstick and kissed my cleavage. He went for it and the whole room just went wild! Then boys and girls alike all smeared lipstick on their lips. Everyone was leaving kisses on wherever they could get to on my body.

By then, my man just couldn’t take it anymore. He stormed out of the party. Someone said to me, “Your boyfriend just walked out. He’s pissed!”

“Well, let him be. What a party pooper! (singing) It’s my birthday…I can cry if I want to…Can’t a girl have a little fun on her birthday? It happens like once a year…or twice a year if you’re Chinese!”

The party didn’t end there but I’ll spare you from the rest. Nonetheless, it was one hell of a birthday bash. My guests called the next day and they all said it was the best birthday party they’ve ever attended! Kudos to me. I just know how to throw a good party, uh?

Drinking – It Runs In the Family

Drinking seems to be a hobby in our family besides gambling. The two do go well together. The family gathering consists of lots of food, alcohol, and gambling as entertainment. I don't know what that is. I guess, they think drinking with your family members makes it okay. It's fun.

My grandmother is 95 this year and she still enjoys drinking. I have never seen her drunk and she can beat all her kids when it comes to drinking. She’s THAT GOOD!

Last year, I went to visit my sister in Baltimore for about a month. Then I seriously thought that she was turning into an alcoholic. To make the matter worse, her boyfriend Kevin loves a good drink as much as she does. At the end of the day, they’d meet at a bar where Kevin used to work and get pissy drunk. It was like almost everyday. It seemed to me that their bonding is rooted in alcohol.

We would pop open a bottle of wine at home and then go out for drinks afterwards. Then we would come home at like 3 o’clock in the morning and they would be looking for more and searching the whole apartment for liquor.

They are exactly your beer drinking. Beer has what…about 4.5% of alcohol. These kids love their hard liquor! They were still in school at the time and really didn’t have the disposable income for excessive drinking habit.

He's Got My Wallet!

One night the drinking started at home and they decided to go out for more drinks. Since Kevin used to work there, we could score free drinks from the bar. It was a bit crowded that night. So, there we were, standing by the bar, talking to the bartenders, trying to order drinks…then my sister said, “Hey! Here. I got a table for us.”

I turned around to see where she was. By the time I turned back to get my things so that I could move over to the table, my purse which I placed on the counter was wide open! In a split of a second, my wallet is missing! Kevin was on my left and it could only be the strange-looking black dude on my right. Sure enough, he was gone.

Suddenly, we’re all sober up! We started searching the entire premise, including the bathrooms. Then we ran outside to see if he was out there. The sucker drove away in a Benz right in front of us. Kevin definitely had a bit too much to drink but he managed to chase the black dude’s car. Luckily, it was a red light and surprisingly, he stopped. Kevin went up to the guy by his window, “Ummm, we think...we think you took my girlfriend’s sister’s wallet! Please give it back.”

He was so polite about it, you know. Kevin is a mellow guy. Under the circumstance, I would expect him to be more forceful. This is not the time to be a Mr. Nice Guy.

“Sir, I’m not accusing you or anything. We just want her wallet back or we’ll have to call the cops. Ummm...Can you pull over for a second while we call the cops?”

“Sure!” the black guy just drove away in his shiny Benz when the light turned green. See ya!

He Stripped Me and Took My Pictures!

Earlier this year Wallace, Thomas, and I would go see our friend Mark, a chiropractor in San Mateo, CA. to adjust our backs or fix whatever long-existing problems. One Monday we finished up early and Thomas suggested an early dinner at a sushi bar in San Francisco – it’s a Japanese sushi bar, owned by the Koreans, and the sushi chefs are Mexicans. He had a coupon for early birds on the dinner specials.

The best place to sit is at the sushi bar so that you can talk to the chefs and watch how they make the stuff. The door was just open for business and we were there already!

We really didn’t plan it out like this. We wanted to make a good use of Thomas’ coupon. Somehow, we started drinking. No, it was not Japanese draft beer. This is a sushi bar, hello! We went for sake. One shot after another, the Mexican chefs were making toasts to us like every three minutes. They even brought out their secretly stashed away tequila.

“Woa! Now, let the party begin!”

I know it’s bad to mix drinks but I have never drank sake and tequila one after another. Wallace and Thomas stopped half way thru dinner and I kept going at it. They just watched me in awe. They never saw me drinking this much!

Then my boyfriend called. He just got off work and wanted to know where I was. “Where are you? Why is it so noisy! Who are you with?”

He could tell from my voice that I’d been drinking. It really showed and I was super flirtatious on the phone.

“Here! I’ll let you talk to my Mexican chef. They’ll tell you where I am and you can come find me. Hurry up. I might pass out soon.”

My boyfriend is Latin and he grew up speaking Spanish. So I handed my cell phone to one of the sushi chefs. It turned out…they know each other. Geez, what a small world.

That night I had on a navy blue dress – button down style a.k.a. easy access. LOL! It’s funny how once the drinking began, the buttons would like pop up one by one. By the time, my boyfriend showed up, my feet were up on Wallace’s laps and my bra was somewhat visible. Not a pretty site!

Wallace and Thomas were a bit shaken up. They never met my Latin love. They just thought I had an imaginary boyfriend. Now, here’s a 6 foot 2, 200 lbs. Latin man standing in front of them. It was overwhelming, I guess.

My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He’s not in denial. He admits to enjoy drinking a bit too much but he says he’s not quitter! I think he’s hopeless. Oh well, no one is perfect, right?

However, when an alcoholic boyfriend sees his girlfriend all tipsy, super-friendly, and under the influence, he’s just not a happy camper. Our roles reverse suddenly. He told me to stop drinking because he knew what was coming and he asked the Mexican chefs to stop serving me tequila. Their conversation was in Spanish and I understood none of it. I just kept saying, “Okay…let’s make a toast to…” I showed no hesitation.

It was early when we left the sushi bar. He parked right outside. As soon as we got into the car, I opened the sunroof and put my feet up in the air. We drove all the way home with my feet up like that. I wonder how many passer-bys got to see my undie. I was wearing a dress, you know.

I don’t know why he decided to take me home instead of his house because the sushi bar is right around his neighborhood. I lived on Nob Hill which is downtown San Francisco. He parked a block away from my apartment building. As soon as we got out the car, I felt the need to throw up. So I puked into a big plant right in front of the Grace Cathedral. Yap, I threw up and my head was falling into the planet as I stood there. He had to pull my long hair in order to keep my head burying into my own vomits. That’s gotta hurt. I hate it when people pull my hair but I didn’t even feel a thing. A cop car drove by and even stopped to see what the commotion was. Then they saw me puking! Yikes. That just sounds gross. A few people who happened to walk by even came up to see if they could help. I love my good Samaritans in San Francisco!

Despite being drunk, I was able to open the building gate and the door. The last thing I remember was going into my bedroom and I fell on the carpet. I was gone. It was only 10 PM!

The next day I got up around six. I looked around – my boyfriend was dead asleep next to me and I was in my pajama. I don’t recall changing my clothes. Then he got up and started retelling lat night’s tale.

He said it was so early when I passed out. He was hoping somebody would call him to go get a drink together. He’s just not used to seeing me like that when he’s one who’s always under the influence. Nobody called and he fell asleep while lying next to me. Apparently, he did more than just changing my clothes. He even took my pictures as he undressed me and changed me into my pajama.

“You did not! When? You don’t even know where my digital camera is!” I had bought one not too long ago and I freaked out! I seriously had no recollection of being photographed.

“You told me where it was and even showed me how to use it when I asked you!”

“I did? Damn it. Let me see!”

I turned on my camera. Sure enough, there were pictures of me…in bed…on the floor.

Well, every so often you have to let your hair down and just relax. This babe is not always in total control of herself. LOL!

I deleted most of the pictures but I saved one for everyone’s amusement.


Warning: Do not mixed sake and tequila!

Coming Up: more drunk stories from me and my wonderful friends!

My Sugar Daddy For Life

Like Father Like Daughter

I’m A Total Daddy’s Girl

I’m the eldest kid in my family. Most of my friends always wonder if I’m the only child until I tell them about my siblings. In fact, I have two, a sister – three years younger, and a brother – we’re five years apart.

After I was born, my parents were ecstatic, especially my dad. He thought I looked just like him. My mom said she only had planned to have one child and she didn’t really care if I her baby was a boy or girl. She was happy with her baby girl and was ready to stop right then. However, my grandmother wanted a boy. That was 30 years ago. Chinese in-laws were ultra traditional and they would tell the young couples to keep going at it until a baby boy was born into the family. Now I think of it, some modern Chinese in-laws really have not changed much in the last three decades – they still insist the youngsters to reproduce baby boys in order to carry on the family names.

Being the only child for three years was truly a blessing. My dad was still working for my grandfather at the time. He had a lot of free time to spend with his first born – me. He bought a camera then and he would bring me to parks for some Kodak moments. Recently, I was sorting out and organizing our family photos. My siblings have very few baby pictures. I have at least 100 of them and some are even in black-n’-white.

After my dad set up his first company, he became very busy and always had to entertain clients after work. Therefore, my mom didn’t get to see him as much because he’s always at work or out schmoozing his customers. I don’t know whose idea it was but my dad would bring me along to dinners with clients. God knows why I would attend these all-men social events. That explains how I love socializing so much and always feel comfortable at a sausage party! I started at a very young age and I knew when to say “Cheers” and “Bottoms Up”.

Just picture this: I’m 2 & 1/2, dressed in a white lacy dress, sitting on my daddy’s lap, and making toasts to grownups. Of course, daddy had to do the drinking.

Every time I began to sense that daddy’s reaching the limit of his alcohol consumption, I would tell him to slow down. If the situation continued to worsen, then I would nag him to go home, complaining that I was tired. It always worked. You can’t tell a man that he has to keep chuckling beers when his baby girl is yarning at the table!

My Dad Is My Hero

I have absolute respect and the highest regard for my father. He’s almost like a god to me. Yet he is not perfect. I never have an idol. If I must pick a person to worship, it’s him. This bonding between my father and me is influential. My dad taught me how to drive. He taught me how to swim. He taught me how to shop. Yes, he did. My mom loathes shopping! He taught me how to dress well. He taught me how to enjoy good food. He taught me how to be independent while living abroad by myself. He taught me to keep my chin at all times.

One small regret: He actually tried to teach me how to appraise fine jewelry but at the time I didn’t care much for it.

My dad turns 60 this year and his resolution is to quit smoking and drinking. It is not easy to quit any habit that has been around three decades if not longer. He’s very determined. He made a promise to my mom and ever since, he’s gone cold turkey!

My dad is a self-made man. He had nothing under his name when he married my mom. He couldn’t afford to go to college because my grandparents just didn’t have the money. He started working after high school. He’s come a long way to where he is today. Aside from his employees, he also has about 20 family members on his payroll. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember.

My mom always brags about how lucky she is to be married to a good-looking man and yet responsible like daddy. I think she means to call him “a total package” as we modern women would say. She tells me that back in the days, girls would line up for my dad and all he had to do was to take his pick. My dad was smart. He picked the girl who may not be the prettiest of them all but certainly the smartest one. My mom married my dad one year after she finished law school. Back then, very few girls could make it to college, let alone law school.

The Man Of My Dream

Throughout the years, my dad never makes judgments or criticizes the men I date. Maybe he knows how much he has influenced me in terms of finding THE ONE. He tells me this, “If he loves you for you and takes you for whom you are, the rest will follow.” My dad certainly is the optimistic one among my parents.

For a while, my mom liked to nag me about being single and complained that I’m too picky or my standard is too high. She said, “If you’re looking for a man just like daddy, well, sorry, he’s taken! I doubt it if there’s anyone else like him!”

Every little girl starts to grow a hazy image of her ideal man as soon as she understands the idea of husband and wife. As she grows up, her surroundings begin to influence the foundation of her image of an ideal man. After entering adulthood, that image will eventually become clear and that’s when she knows what she is looking for in a man – the man of her dream.

The older I get, the more I realize that the man of my dream will share the winning characteristics as my father. The one that is the closest to my dad has to be RBT. He always smells good, dresses well, looks amazing in suits, has exquisite taste in the finer things in life, keeps himself fit and enjoys fine dining. His favorite brands of clothing are exactly the same as my dad’s – Ralph Lauren and Brook’s Brothers.

In a way, my father sets the standard for how I envision the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. The truth is I don’t want a man who’s just like my dad. Drinking and smoking are my dad’s two biggest sins. I am allergic to cigarettes. As soon as I started dating, I vowed that I’d never go out with a man who smokes. That rule still stands. As for drinking, I can’t stand it when a guy gets sloppy drunk and he stinks as a skunk. I have memories of my dad coming home late at night smelling like alcohol and my mom would make him sleep on the couch because of the awful odor.

Yes, my dad is a good package. However, I want my own package. I would like to be with someone who can share house chores. It’s best if he can cook. My dad never, and I do mean NEVER, helps with the house chores. Maybe it has something to do with the Chinese traditional belief and that is a man is always the breadwinner while the woman stays at home and takes care of children and everything else. He will leave dirty dishes in the sink all night so that someone can wash it in the morning. As a result, I become an excellent dishwasher.

Here’s an irony. My dad runs a factory with numerous heavy-duty machines but he does not know how to operate the washing machine or the dryer.

Actually, my dad is quite a gourmet chef. He often leaves the mess as it is and runs away from the ‘crime scene’ as soon as he’s done cooking.

Before I can find “my package”, I live happily under my parents’ roof and continue to be a daddy’s girl. Don’t think for a second that I didn’t try to move out. After college, I came home and then I wanted to find my own apartment because my mom was driving me crazy. My dad, a strong believer in family values, said to me, “You’re going to live with this family until you start your own!” Yes Sir!

Once you become a daddy’s girl, you’re a daddy’s girl for life! This is a lifetime commitment that no girl will ever regret!

He Said, She Said

Love Stinks and Truth Hurts

Often truth depends on the individuals who decipher it.

My recent posts “Advice For Single Girls”on August 13 and “Everyone Is Getting Married”on August 12 attracted both encouraging words and nasty comments from strangers. One said, "You can be a good writer." One woman with the name Brenda felt that she could relate to my story.

Nonetheless, I’m wondering if the negative feedback came from 1. Men who obviously don’t like what I said about men from my past; 2. People read between the lines too much.

There’s no hidden message. What’s out is out and that’s how I honestly felt at the time when it occurred. For instance, I never thought my ex-boyfriend was with me for money. However, he was able to convince me to ‘cover expenses’ when he was jobless. I really didn’t mind. I had the ability to do so and cool, more power to us! The breakup that came 3 months later really got me. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Did I make a mistake by agreeing to provide?” When we first started going out, he was the one who made a comment about how money does break up couples. That was the only concern in mind when I agreed to take care of us.

The reason for our breakup was so vague – a tough one to swallow (no pun intended!). It made no sense and of course, I had to turn the direction to the money matter. As far as I can recall, we’re doing great until the financial situation changed everything. I will never forget the bickering incident over some expenses I forgot to pay for. He said to me, “You shouldn’t have to be reminded when you’re doing a good deed. That defeats the purpose of your good will.”

I was so puzzled that I dragged my friend Michael out for afternoon coffee which lasted for 5 hours It didn't end there. We had dinner later that night with other friends and the conversation was surrounded the same freakin’ topic. Poor Michae! He had to listen to me venting all day long. By the time he dropped me off that night, he said, “Don’t worry. It's definitely him. You didn't do anything wrong.” That was comforting because I couldn’t understand what I did wrong.

In retrospect, JC and I did have a grand time. Things were going well. My life then was nearly perfect. It was only after money got involved and the situation got sticky. I felt that he was extremely critical of me and I didn’t like being disciplined as if I was a school girl. He definitely was keeping scores and a record of the rules I broke.

What My Blog Is For

I begin to wonder if my blog makes me seem cynical about men, love and relationship. If so, I’m spreading the wrong image and message. I do mean to say…despite all the mistakes, I’m still hopeful and optimistic. Who doesn’t have a past? It’s the ability to let go and move on that’s most important. I’m merely poking fun at my past and mocking myself for all the dumb things I’ve done. It’s too bad that some people take everything so seriously. My blog is so lighthearted that you’re supposed to laugh at my silliness or just laugh with me!

Feedback

Someone just left a comment about the stuff I wrote about my ex-boyfriend JC. He said, “Since you and JC are not couple any more, he doesn't have to rescue and offer you out financially.”

What a jerk, uh? Somehow I think it’s a guy wrote that. How little he knew that I never ask any man for money. It’s usually the other way around! I only have asked one man for money in my whole life and he is MY FATHER!

Wait! I’m forgetting someone. Okay…my little brother Peter offered some financial assistance last year. I didn’t ask him for help but he said it broke his heart to see me living in San Francisco on such a tight budget. What a sweetheart! I love my bro!

Oh, one more…I asked my Uncle Paul in Indianapolis for money once. It was my 20th birthday and I really liked this leather jacket from Diesel. It was a nice one – one side was leather and the other side is suede. But it was like $500! Now I think of it, I was obsessed with that jacket and I even vowed to buy it no matter what. I wanted it so badly that I called up Uncle Paul for “contributions.”

Uncle Paul: Hello, sweetie! How’s college?

Me: Fine. Oh I’m planning to have a party next week. It should be fun!

Uncle Paul: What’s the occasion? You’re such a party girl!

Me: Yeah, it runs in the family, you know. We love a good party! Umm, it’s my 20th birthday! Can you believe it? I’m going to be 20!

Uncle Paul: Oh wow, time goes by so fast. If you’re turning 20, that means I’ve been living in the States for 22 years now. I came here before your parents were married.

Me: I think Grandma is going to give me a red envelop for my birthday. She always remembers my birthday. It’s amazing how she keeps a track of everyone’s birthday. Isn’t she like 84 this year?

Uncle Paul: I see. So, what do you want for your birthday this year?

Me: Well, I’m trying to save up some money for this super nice leather jacket I like from Diesel. It’s kind of expensive but it’s a double sided jacket with leather and suede. You’ll love it if you see me wearing it. It’s one of those “Must Have” leather jackets because it’s so rare!

Uncle Paul: Wow, sounds nice! I’m sure I can help out a bit.

He sent a check in the mail which I received a few days later. As wished, I got my leather jacket and it’s still sitting in my closet!

We’re family. There’s no foul play involved when my father, brother and my uncle helped me out financially. We’re related by blood!

I never ask any of my men for money. However, some of them have asked me for money and haven’t returned my generosity. The fact speaks for itself.

So far, most of my friends who have checked out my blog like it and they say nice things about it. Except for a few complimentary ones, most strangers like to leave the nastiest comments.

Why are people so rude these days? Since I was little, my dad always taught me, “If you don’t have nice things to say, don’t say a word.”

Here's the response from my beloved friends:

Aria: As for your man situation - I think you are worth whatever you feel you are worth! Not stuck up or snooty about it at all. This is your life, and you can have and want whatever you want, you create your own reality! You deserve a man to love you, honor you, cherish you, and give you what you want. (I should also take my own advice). Marriage is also all around me, and I'm looking at if that is what I want, or if I will be the best auntie to all of my friends kids. It's such a big commitment to get married and start a family. But, also a huge reward.

Eri: Yeah, with your Mr. Big, oh well. Hope he has a stinking marriage with some other girl. That was back at USF when you used to go down to L.A. I remember. I know what you’re saying about guys who ask for financial assistance. I've had some guys ask me to help them with money. Trust me, once you help them, you'll always be giving them money. BTW, your website is great.

Jennifer: When a man asking his woman for money, that does not sound good AT ALL. The guy was just trying to leech off you. You had been waaaay too nice to him. A real man will figure out his own finances and finances for anyone he wants in his life. If a man really loves you, and want you in his life, he has to figure out how he is to support you in his life. Call me old-fashioned but I really do think the man should be able to support you or should be at least able to be a contributing member of your life together. He's being a putz. Sorry!

Joe: I guess I'd feel the same if I were you, with regards to money.

Lily: I read your blog with great interest. You are a pretty good writer! I liked the pictures of Bali and the piece about single men getting married, as well as the piece about make-up. I myself feel challenged in both respect (the whole make up thing, and finding a decent available guy).

Owen: Don’t worry hon. Your Mr. Big may be getting married. His chance of becoming part of the statistics is rather high. Did you know that over 50% of newly wed couples don’t make it to their third anniversary? When you saw him a couple years back, you said you’re no longer attracted to him. So, why the sour face now? It’s just not meant to be. Get over it.

Patricia: As for your man asking you for financial help. I don't hear him offering to help you out of your own predicament. WHAT? He wants a sugar mommy? Yikes. Helping out someone is a good thing if there is some sort of mutual understanding. When only one person is doing the helping, isn't it called using? Maybe I'm just an old fashioned kinda girl, but isn't that the man’s job to take care of his woman anyway? If he can afford it, why not? Damn I'm mercenary! And here we are toting women’s liberation and power!!!

Shannon: I want to bring up a specific point you made the other day, that if you're missing out on any of this getting married thing. Honey, the answer is a NO, in capital letters/bold. And you look like you're enjoying yourself to the fullest. To be honest, I envy you. Sure grass is always greener on the other side. I was like you, single and had disposable money and I traveled a lot. I still wonder why I gave all that up. Was it love? I thought so. But I'm not sure anymore.

These people are my friends, the people I love and care. Their words are soothing to the heart & soul and they definitely know how to cheer me up!

Surprising Response from JC

Wow, that stung a bit! It's always interesting to see what others really thought of you. I honestly did not have any intension of using you for money or using you to live off of. If I did, or if I made you feel like I did, I am truly sorry.

I wasn't with you for financial reasons. If I did, I would of barrowed a lot more, and you probably won't get any of the loan back. I like you because you have a cheerful personality.

It's just good to be with a fun person. Makes the gray world that we live in a lot brighter. It was good times, wasn't it? Of the year that we dated, I only remember a couple of disagreements (and in hindsight, those arguments weren't all that important anyway). By far, the most fun of any relationship that I had been in. I sincerely thank you for that :)

Of the time that I had dated you, I didn't know half of the stuff you posted. It would have been nice to know your most intimate loves and fears. Besides the entertainment value, I could have known you more. Oh well, that's not important now.

I want to congratulate you on the web blog. It's done nicely, and you are very brave for posting all the personal stuff in public. I'm sure I (along with zillions of others) will get to read more ugly truth about me, but it's all good ;) I hope the web will lead you to your ultimate goal, and you can become the Carrie Bradshaw of real life. Keep up the good work!

Did He Say “I’m Sorry”?

Obviously, we didn’t see eye to eye and eventually the relationship failed as a result. It’s a He Said She Said situation. I get to tell my side of the story and my perspective on what happened back then. JC is entitled to his side of the story and I’m sure it’s something that’s different than mine.

I definitely didn’t make a point to mention anyone in particular. When I write, I usually have a theme for each piece and I include all the stories that seem to fit the title. So, I wasn’t out to get anyone and certainly was not expecting an apology.

Upon receiving this Email, I’m overwhelmed. He even said he had the most fun with me out of all his relationships! Do you have any idea what that means to me? Nonetheless, Apology accepted! It takes a real man to confront his past, good and bad, right and wrong, and to apologize for the harms he may have caused. Kudos to JC!

On the other hand, JC totally wasted the benefits of having a girlfriend who’s one hell of a storyteller! He said he doesn’t know half of the stories I’ve posted. Gosh, I just got started! I told him so much when we're an item. More than most guys I’ve dated. All we did was talk.

That was one nice quality about our relationship. We could talk about anything at anytime and anywhere. What I loved about him the most is that he would call me EVERYDAY. Yap, every single day he would call me from wherever he was. Often he would be calling from all corners of the world! Despite being a frequent business traveler, he never missed a day. I used to brag about it to my friends, “See! It’s entirely possible to talk to your boyfriend EVERYDAY.”

Our phone conversation was sweet and definitely was not short. We could go on for hours and the biggest winner is the phone company, which made huge profits from us. Haha! Let’s not forget about the numerous Emails. We exchanged Emails during the day and talked before bedtime. I used to have an archive of all the Email correspondence until my PC crashed and I lost it all. Darn! It would have been nice to read about what we talked about then.

In fact, JC and I have never stopped being friends despite the breakup. His girlfriend is clearly not a big fan of us remaining friends. Yes, the circumstance is different now. Who says ex-lovers cannot be friends? When we do get on the phone with each other, it’s guaranteed to last for a minimum of 3 hours if not longer. It’s always a nice time on the phone. Usually the conversation gets interrupted when one of our phones runs out of battery and we have to switch phones!

It is nice knowing that we can still talk about anything at anytime. His record remains unbroken: We got on the phone around midnight and talked the night away until the sun came up! Try to beat that, yeah!

Happy Chinese Valentin's Day!

Here Comes Valentine's Day!

For all we know, Valentine’s Day is always on February 14th. For Chinese, they have their own V-day aside from the western lover’s day. Every Chinese person has two birthdays and can celebrate two Valentine’s days – according to the western solar calendar and the Chinese lunar calendar.

I love birthdays. I always make a big deal about celebrating birthdays. Sure, I am getting one year older. Just think about all the fun I can have at my birthday party! The only time you will catch me getting absolutely wild and wasted is at my birthday party! Usually, I reserve the lunar birthday for my family and that just doubles the fun of celebrating birthdays.

As for Valentine’s day, I hate to admit that I’m somewhat anti-lover’s day. I just avoid it. It must have been a curse or some sort. More often than not, my status quo remains single when the lover’s day comes around. Boyfriends come and go and I always fail to keep them around long enough ‘till the next Valentine’s day.

Couples in love cannot help but rub it in when they see single people on lover’s day. We know we are single but we don’t have to be reminded on a day like this. It only hurts more to see others go hand in hand, and celebrate it with flowers, chocolates and fancy dinners when we, the single ones, stay home and embrace HBO’s Sex and the City.

Chinese Love Story – The Origin of Long-Distance Relationship

All Chinese descents should be proud of our ancestor. Chinese is one of the oldest cultures in the world. Their inventions include papermaking, printing, gunpowder, and the mariner's compass, modern agriculture, shipping, astronomical observatories, decimal mathematics, paper money, umbrellas, multi-stage rockets, brandy and whiskey, the game of chess, and much more.

Chinese may not have a reputation as good lovers. They do have a romantic holiday and it falls on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month in the Chinese calendar. It’s Chinese Valentine’s day and this year, it happens to be on August 22.

There is an ancient story behind the romantic holiday. The love story is between a girl and a boy, Weaving Maid and Cowherd.

Weaving Maid was the seventh daughter of Emperor and she was good at handcrafting, especially weaving clothing. That’s the reason her father named her “Weaving Maid”. Everyday she would weave clouds and rainbows to beautify the world.

Weaving Maid and her six sisters came down from Heaven and she met Cowherd. They fell in love and started a family together.

The Emperor found the sky's not as beautiful as before since Weaving Maid was gone. He sent his mother to bring Weaving Maid back to Heaven. The grandmother made a milky way in the sky with her hairpin. The 7th princess was moved to the star Vega (The swooping - Eagle) in the Lyra (Harp) constellation. As for the cowherd and his two children, they stayed in the star Altair (Flying one) in the Aquila (Eagle) constellation. The star of Vega is known as the Weaving Maid Star and the star of Altair is as the Cowherd Star in China.

From then on, they were forever separated and the Emperor only allowed them to meet once a year on the day of 7th day of 7th lunar month.

If it rains on the Chinese Valentine's Day, some say that the rains are the tears of the Weaving Maid and Cowherd.

On this holiday, couples in love and single people go to the temples and pay respect to the God of Matchmaker. They pray for love, happiness and good prospects for marriage.

I suspect that Weaving Maid and Cowherd had the first so-called long distance relationship. They were forced to live apart and could only see each other once a year. Umm…this is definitely the origin of long-distance love!

What's Your Status?

If you are single like me, the chances are you probably avoid holidays like Valentine’s day. I know how you feel. You might feel sad because you don’t have that special someone to share the joy of lover’s day.

Get over it! Love is not only limited to relationship. Love between friends and family is also great love. I’m going to spend it with my family. Why not? My dad lives in China and I don’t see him very often. He just happens to be here this week. It’s a rare opportunity for a family dinner. Or you can round up a few good friends, plan a dinner out, and have a good time!

Keep a positive outlook! It has proven again and again. Finding true love is about TIMING. Yeah, timing…when the timing is right, relationships will progress smoothly and the rest will follow.

I always believe that there is more than one person out there for everyone. You have a few potentials to choose from as your Mr. Right / Mrs. Right.

Do not despair if you have been single for years. Good things come to those who wait. I know friends who waited for years before meeting THE ONE. Everyone I know who’s walked down the isle (some have done it more than once!) tells me that when true love comes along, you just know. Okay…I have no idea what that means. Obviously, that’s why my status remains single. Supposedly, it always happens when you’re least expecting it.

Enjoy your single life while you’re at it. The grass is always greener on the other side. Some people work so hard to find true love. Once they find what they’ve been looking for, they start missing ‘the good ole days’ because it’s different from their expectation.

When your time comes, just make sure you’re ready for it. Love cannot wait. If you contemplate too much, that special someone might slip away when you’re not looking. Go for it, make the best out of it, and see what true love might bring!

B.I.T.C.H. Group

All About Women Empowerment

Recently, a friend spoke to me about starting a women empowerment group. I thought it’s a good idea and started to research on that.

I definitely see the need for support groups for women. I often play the role of Love Doctor for my friends. For some odd reasons, they always come to me when they need to vent about their love life. Back in the days when I was on the radio, listeners would call in and ask for relationship advice as well. I am a believer; I am an optimist; I can always offer positive reinforcements to those seeking help.

This empowerment group is more than a support group. It’s also a social group.

So, the following is what I’ve come up with so far:

Name:
B.I.T.C.H. Group– Babe In Total Control Of Herself is more than just a personality type. We ought to turn it into a movement.

Mission Statement:
B.I.T.C.H. Group consists of female individuals who just wanna have fun, celebrate life, and enjoy all the wonderful things that life has to offer.

Guidelines:
We believe in attitude.
We believe in ourselves.
We believe in brains and beauty.
We believe in independent thinking.
We believe in the simple pleasures in life.
We believe in fewer words and more actions.
We believe in the freedom of shopping and dating.
We believe in living the dream.
We believe in looking our best.
We believe in speaking our minds.
We believe in competing in the game, not the score.
We believe in being ourselves and letting it all hang out.
We believe in cultivating our curves and showing them off.
We believe sex is a misdemeanor. The more you miss, the meaner you get.
We believe in giving a second chance to ex-lovers but with somebody else.
We believe in being bad. Good girls may go to heaven but bad girls go everywhere!
We believe in celebrating anything and everything.
We believe it’s time to party!
(To be continued…)

Friends Forever!

Where Have Your Friends Gone?

You are able to tell how your friends really feel about you from the Emails they send. Mike’s Emails always give me a sense of caring and make me feel that I am someone important in his life (only next to his girlfriend, of course!). His words are always so encouraging and comforting. I like that feeling, knowing someone out there truly cares about me. That is what true friendship is all about.

Michael and I used to work at the same radio station in Taiwan. He returned to the States a few years ago and we have kept in touch despite our tendency to move around the world whenever we feel like it.

This is what I like about Mike. He always keeps me posted on what is going on in his life and his part of the world wherever it might be. Though we live thousands of miles away from each other, we remain close friends. We make a point to visit each other when we are in the other person’s “turf.” For instance, once I went to visit my sister in Baltimore and drove 45 minutes to see him in D.C. He was in Taiwan recently for the Presidential election and the inauguration. We met up both times when he was in town.

Is it just me or as we get older, we seem to lose friends left and right? And I am not just talking about friends who disappeared after getting hitched (maybe their better half forbids them from going out with old friends). We, as the proud single individuals, sort of feel as if we are left behind, wondering “Where have my friends gone?” I like to think that they’ve gone to their controlling spouses and crying babies! Just think it that way, you’ll feel better about being single!

Throughout my life, I have so-called close friends in different periods. Some have come and gone. I have no ideas where they are now. The ones remaining close to me have seen my best and my worst, my ups and downs. They are the ones I will be calling when I’m 60 and we can talk about the good old days!

When I was younger, I thought it was a natural course to see friends coming and going. I was always meeting new friends and they would quickly fill the vacancy before I realized I had just lost a friend due to lack of contacts or whatever reason it may be. As I get older, it has become increasingly difficult to meet people who click with me and keep in touch with the ones I do like.

Nonetheless, I am truly lucky to have a circle of friends who love me for me and accept me for who I am. It is beyond just bonding. It is gratifying to be able to have heart-to-heart intense conversations with them. They listen when I vent. They offer advice when I feel confused. They lift me up when I feel down. They cuss with me when my relationship stinks again. I always place more importance in my friends than boyfriends. Simply it’s because friends are forever - I can always get a new boy toy (a.k.a.boyfriend) but a good friend is hard to find!

Therefore, if you are one of my friends and you are reading this, you should know that you’d have me as your friend for life. I am a believer! I am an optimist. Remember: Friends forever!

Michael Kitchen in Afghanistan for VOA (he's the one holding an AK-47).

Greetings from Islamabad, Pakistan!

Mike accepted a job offer from VOA (Voice of America) to station in Pakistan last year. It’s not exactly the safest place to be working. I’m always happy to hear from him. It’s an assurance that he’s still well and in one piece. Even though there is not much to do in Pakistan, he said, “The money is great.”

Last month he had the chance to interview the president of Afghanistan, Hamid Karzai. He had to get on an U.N. charter flight form Islamabad to Kabul. He’s the only person I know who’s been on a flight chartered by the U.N.

Here’s a picture from Mike - he’s the one holding the AK-47. He’s in Parwan province with a couple of Afghan soldiers. While his colleague was busy asking directions for an army ceremony they were supposed to attend. One of the guys in the photo (the one with a beard and is barely visible because he's hiding behind the other guy) insisted that Mike should hold his AK-47. Apparently, it’s part of Afghan hospitality!

Life Is A Fabulous Party!

I Love Playing The Host!

My parents own a storefront space on the first floor of our apartment building. Any logical storefront owners will lease the space and collect rent every month. It’s an investment. That was the case until recently.

My mom decided to take it back, renovate the space, and keep it to ourselves. She is taking water-painting classes and she’s really into it. She has custom-made frames for every single piece of her work and hangs them all over the house, including the kitchen and the bathroom. Yes, my mother is obsessed. Anyhow, she thinks it will be brilliant to do her artwork there whenever she feels inspired. I’m not artist and all I can think about is I am thinking is 1. I can host private parties for friends; 2. Is there a way I can make some money with this venture? I love a good party whether it’s my own party or the party I attend.

I love playing the host! Tonight I organized a dinner party. It is the first time we had people over since the renovation completed. My dad is in town this week. When my mom told him about my party in the morning, he took out our finest china, silverware, and wine glasses. Daddy thought it was necessary to sanitize the utensils. So, he put all 40 pieces in a boiling pot on the stove. Yeah, my father is quite proper. He said, “You have to use place mats with the flatware.” He rolled his eyes when my mom suggested serving food with paper plates to save the trouble of washing dishes afterwards.

Despite a last minute notice, the party is a success! Everyone seemed to like how the storefront turned out. The space is small, intimate, cozy and has a good ambience. Some suggested that I run it as a membership-only lounge bar for friends. I can be selective about who gets in and who does not.

To my mom, this space is her art studio. I call it my lounge bar. There’s no conflict since she’ll only use it during the day and I can hang out there at night.


(L to R) Karen, Amber, Mini Cooper Tony, Me, Simon, Quirky, and Skywalker.
Guests not shown Nic, Steven, Chow & his girlfriend, Jack.

Lounge Bar Officially Open!

It's a storefront space converted into a private lounge bar.

All the Fine Things In Life

The earliest education starts from home. My parents taught me everything there is to know about throwing a good party! For as long as I can remember, my parents always had cocktail parties at home. In the process, I picked up the taste for all the fine things in life from my folks. No wonder, I’m such a party girl. I started at such a young age. Once a party girl, Always a party girl! Now no one can blame me for wanting to be a socialite. I started mingling and socializing when most kids weren’t even potty-trained!

My fondest memory of my childhood is the parties we held at home. The preparation started in the morning. My dad would bring out everything needed for the party and wash it piece by piece. Then he would set up the glasses by the bar and the flatware on the dining table. Then daddy would pick out music for the party and remind the kids to dress in proper attire. He would not stand for it if we looked like slobs. When our guests showed up, daddy would make them the drink of their choice, give them a tour and show them the Chinese antiques scattering around the house.

That’s not it. For entertainment, we the kids had to perform the instrument we were learning at the time. I still can’t figure out why we had to do that. Now I think of it, it was cheesy! It’s not like we’re so good at it that my folks wanted to show off. Maybe they thought it was fun for the guests. I was a dancer for years and my parents sometimes would ask me to perform a piece of dance. Have you seen traditional Chinese dances? If you have, then you probably can imagine it. Just picture a 10-year-old girl all decked out in traditional Chinese outfit, she’s dancing in her living room!

Nonetheless, my parents showed me the way to many wonderful things in life and I learned to enjoy a fabulous lifestyle. I grew up believing that life is all about fine dining, exquisite art and antiques, beautiful music and cocktails! It may not be a blessing. All this inspired my lifetime goal: have fun and get paid for it!

Before the completion of the renovation, I approached chef friends to see if they’re interested in coming to cook Sunday brunch. Then every weekend, I can invite a guest chef to prepare brunch and charge like $20 per person or something.

Then I found out the kitchen was fully equipped except for a stove.

I asked Mom, “This kitchen has no stove!”

“I don’t even cook when I have four stoves at home. Why will I ever want to cook here? I only want to work on my water-painting when I come here!”

How To Make More Out of The Lounge Bar?

After attending my party, Tony says, “It seems like you’ve found your calling”!

When I started living on my own, I would organize parties just like what my folks used to do. It is gratifying to play the host, knowing your guests enjoy the company and have a fabulous time. My dream job is to become a socialite. With this lounge bar, I can be my own socialite and make some money, too.

Tony suggests that I host professional parties, i.e. parties for nerds. Since he knows many nerds, he and I should collaborate and make it happen. I like this idea.

Nic thinks that I can run a membership-only club. I can invite my friends and they can bring their friends. You have to know someone in order to join the club. By charging a cover, patrons can come to meet friends for drinks and enjoy the intimate cozy space.

How about a slumber party? The lounge bar has a loft area. I can have sleepovers! Oh, this is really getting interesting!

I can host lady’s night. You know women just love getting together to talk gossips. Lady’s night is for single girls and afternoon tea for married women.

Metrosexual men are really in now. They deserve a party, too. In no time, I can host speed-dating parties by inviting single girls and metrosexual guys. Brilliant!

There are people who work very hard in order to be financially secure. As a result, they miss the opportunities to meeting potential spouses because they don’t know where to meet the opposite sex or they simply lack the interpersonal skills. The bar scene gets old after a certain age. Didn’t your mother tell you that you JUST DO NOT DATE PEOPLE YOU MEET AT THE BAR / CLUB?! That’s the number 1 rule in dating.

Other ideas include Bridal shower, Bachelor party, Wine-tasting party, Birthday party, Baby shower…

You don’t need any reason to have a party. People always think they need an occasion before throwing a party. All parties share one thing: Celebrating life. Life is one fabulous party! You have to celebrate until you drop.

Metrosexual Men & More Blondes!

This is Andrew when he was little. When it comes to blonde babies / kids, I'm the first to admit that I love them wholeheartedly! This is a great photo! Thanks, Andrew!

Metrosexual Men - the Hottest New Commodity!

Men are men (we're talking about straight men here). They're all the same regardless of the color of their skin. However, I'm beginning to become interested in the so-called "Metrosexual" men. They are the New Age Nerds - nerdy at heart. They just might be the answer to my prayer! They're sensitive, they dress well, they probably can cook (if not, I bet they enjoy fine dining!), and they are clean, and they might be better at house chores than a chick like me! Supposedly, they're very much into the Fine Things In Life. That means, they have strong interests in all things intellectual and cultural. I ought to find out for myself if Metrosexual men are as good as everyone says!

My Fetish For Blondes As Long As They Are Under The Age Of 12!

I can't remember the last time I dated a blondie. Back in the days at Bellevue High School, I did check out the football players (they're all blond!) quite often. They were so yummy-looking!

When it comes to little kids, I like them blonde. I don't know why. It started when I was little.

When I was maybe 10, my parents would drop off my siblings and I at the Moron church on Sundays. I would always make sure I found a seat next to this cutie blond boy. His name was Bruce, I think. Perhaps that's how I developed a thing for blondes. When I first arrived in Bellevue in 1990, I thought I'd just found the heaven on earth! There were blondes all over the place!

This is human nature: we always want something that we can't have. The grass is always greener on the other side. So, that might explain why I love the blondies since I know I will never be able to have one of my own!

I notice that some blond kids are so cute as long as they are little. As soon as they grow up, they begin to lose their good looks. They're still hot items in high school. By the time they finish college, it's all downhill from there! The boys I used to drool over in high school look nothing like the way I remember them! What a shame!

Blondes Always Have More Fun!

"Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future"
-John F. Kennedy-


This is a childhood picture from my friend Nic(the blonde). I may not be the mother material. But my heart melts for the cutie blond boy! Just look at him! He's SO ADORABLE! Can someone tell me what my chances are of ever having a blond baby?!?! No, I'm not talking about adoption!

Married With Children

One of my best friends from college, Liz, gave birth to a beautiful baby boy exactly one year ago today. In celebrating her little one's 1st birthday, her husband has invited "the whole world" to his birthday party. Yap, that's what Mommy said in her Email.

Despite being a wife and a full-time mother, Liz is the same person I knew in college. The only thing that's changed is that she doesn't splurge on a $500 Chanel handbag anymore; instead, $300 can buy two weeks worth of groceries at Costco and she saves the rest to buy savings bond for Justin.

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I read was Liz's Email. It just cracked me up. She's as hilarious as ever before! Her Email really made my day before I even got out the house to meet my friends for brunch. Husband and wife often vent about each other. The way Liz did it is just so cute! You gotta see it for yourself:

We have to go to Costco now to buy stuff for Justin's birthday party. Unfortunately, his father has invited the whole world to the party. He has mistaken this party for his own birthday party. I just don't understand. He has invited his co-workers, our neighbors, his long-time friends (a bunch of alcohol-drinking & smoking people), and not to mention his whole family (this is not a problem) which is big enough already. What is this really? A block party?

Maybe you have to know her in order to pick up the humor in it. I burst out laughing while reading her Email. There's something else that's even funnier but it's too much of an inside joke. I can't share it here because it's also quite mean-spirited.

Who’s On Schedule?

I'm still trying to find THE ONE and my best friend already has a family and a baby boy! Gosh, I'm so behind! On the other hand, it’s entirely possible that she took the plunge too early. Maybe she’s an early boomer.

I read a survey somewhere and it said that 60% of women between the ages of 30 to 34 are single. See! I’m part of that statistics – I’m only 30. That’s not bad. At least I’m not in the statistics for divorcees under the age of 30. That will suck. It’s worse than being a late boomer.

People mature at different age. My age says I’m 30 but I feel 25. My mom says I’m too selfish to be married and starting my own family. I agree. Honestly, I have never met a guy who made me feel, “Oh, he’s the one. I want to spend the rest of my life with him!” Okay, maybe one or two guys in the past got me thinking about marriage for just a little tiny bit.

Unfortunately, the thought died instantly when I found out that he’s a total mommy’s boy or he will never quit drinking and smoking pot.

Sometimes I wonder, “Will I be happy and content with one man and one man only for the rest of my life?” The idea itself is scary.

I want to be 100% sure before tying the knot. I may be a party girl but I do take marriage very seriously. Call me old-fashioned! I believe in marriage that is happy and long lasting. My parents showed me how it’s done. Besides, I don’t believe in divorce.

Despite all the venting and bitching, I do think THE ONE is out there. There are probably two or three of them waiting somewhere. It’s matter of who I’ll meet first and who’s going to get down on his knee with a platinum ring.

Liz seems happy being a wife and a full-time mother. She’s one Happy-Go-Lucky kind of woman. She’s always been that way. I’m happy for her.

Advice For Single Girls

One of my best friends in college, Eri, can't stand it anymore with my whining about men and relationship. So, she offers me some advice - words of wisdom from one married woman to a single chick.

Years ago when we're in college, everyone thought she was kind of ditzy. You know what? Underneath that pretty face, she's quite a smart Asian babe!

She's now a wife and a full-time mother. I figure she must know what she's talking about, right? She speaks from experience. What she says is like a slap on the wrist. It hurts. Love stinks and truth hurts. Unfortunately, someone has to give it to me straight. Otherwise, I'll continue to live in denial as long as I can drag it on and never face the cruel reality.

Advice #1: Your Taste in Men....Sucks!

Eri: Sweetie, you are beautiful...you have a great taste in everything but "MEN" (GAAAAWWWWDDD!!!). You know how to manage money, too! What a great asset!Trust me, with the right guy, you'll be on top of the world. Whether the guy will come around now or later, it really doesn't matter. And hey, the biological clock doesn't start ticking till much later.

My Story: Really? I thought the clock started ticking since my late 20s. I guess the nonstop wedding invitations and news of newborn babies make me antsy and I wonder if I'll end up all by myself. It's like, everyone has someone to go home to at the end of the day. When I go home, all I see is TV, my laptop, and a queen-size bed waiting for me. It's not even about whether I'm getting laid or not. It's nice to wake up with someone you love and go to sleep with that person everyday.

Advice #2: What Does It Take Before You Stop Giving Your Man Money! Stop It Already!

Eri: This is very important. If your man ever starts asking you for money, you run like hell!!! Didn't you learn your lesson with Aaron like 10 years ago? You never let them borrow money, period! This is one rule you can never bend. Once was enough. I don't care if they're broke. That's their problem. If they're real men, they'll figure something out. A man is not a man if he needs his woman to cover his bills! If your man is so flat-broke, you might as well give it to them 'cuz you'll never get it back!!!

My Story: Ummm, I do have a history of men asking money from me. It happened at least 3 or 4 times now. It's like, once they become intimate with me, it's their given right to seek financial assistance from me. And I'm not even loaded. I just look somewhat expensive.

What happened with Aaron was a painful experience. Don't get me wrong...it was some awesome sex we had...probably one of the best I've ever had. He was THAT GOOD! He was in law school and I was still an undergrad. He started gambling, betting on sports, taking weekend trips to Vegas. The next thing I knew, he was there every weekend. The big weekend approached. It was the superbowl weekend. We went there together but I came back alone. Then he called to tell me that he'd just gambled his return ticket away.

"How is that possible?!" I didn't even know you could trade in your plane ticket as gambling chips. What a fool I was! I was dumb enough to fly back to Vegas again, thinking I could pull him away from the casinos and bring him back to the real world.

Not a fat chance! I returned to San Francisco without him AGAIN. But, that's not the worst. I actually bought him a return ticket to fly back with me. He said, "Baby, I'll catch the next flight. You have to go to your class. Don't worry. I'll see you back home later today!"

He did the same thing with the 2nd return ticket. That's when I knew I had to wash my hand with that loser. Later I found out that before I flew down to Vegas to 'RESCUE MY MAN', he was calling all over the freakin' country and looking for women to wire him money. Only I was stupid enough to help him.

I can't remember how much money he owed me. I do remember one of my closest friends, Sosa, said to me, "girl, you'll just have to write it off and forget about him!"

In 2001, my boyfriend JC continued to have problems with his boss. He talked about quitting all summer long. Everytime he had to vent about work, I just took it as a "Crying Wolf".

Well, he finally did it. He told his boss, "take this job and shove it!" Then he packed up his bags and came to live with me. And he had the nerve to say this to me:

"You see, I'm jobless now. I'm going thru a bit of a hard time. We're a couple. We're in this thing together. So, you help me out now and the day when you are out of work, I'll take care of you. That's what couples do for each other!"

I'm not your good Samaritan. But I thought a man with that much ego and male pride would ask me for help, it probably took a lot out of him. He asked. And I complied. It's not because he was convincing. It's simply because he had no shame in living off me.

I let JC live on my dime until the day we broke up three months later. Oh yeah, he also asked for a loan to pay off his car payment. If I were him, I would have asked my parents for that. But he asked me. He paid me back the day we broke up.

Did money have much to do with the breakup? Hell yeah! Of course he denied it. The truth came out months later. I'll have to save that for later. It's very juicy!

I have not had full-time work for months now. And I don't see JC coming to my rescue and offering to help me out financially.

So, the moral of the story is men can be so full of sh*ts. "I'll take care of you when you're down and out." I would like to see that happening just once in my life. It might help to improve my cynical views on men.

Advice #3: You Need A Man Who's In Your League!

Eri: I don't care what you hear out there. Women like us need to get men that are from a similar background. With marriage, you're unlikely to maintain the fabulous lifestyle you're used to. Really, when it comes to marriage, similar background really helps. It really reduces arguments caused by conflicting ideas such as how to raise a child.

The $300 that I used to spend on a pair of Chanel shades goes to 2 weeks worth of groceries at Costco. I have not bought a LV purse in 2 years. I would spend that $300 to buy savings bond for my son. It's Justin's birthday. I have hired Sparkles The Clown for the b-day. She does e'thing- face painting, huge bubbles, magic, puppets, balloon figures. SEE. That's where our money will be going. Could've bought a pair of Joe's jeans or blue cult and a top for how much the clown costs for 2 hours. Unless you marry a CPA, successful businessman, doctor, dentist, or someone who makes some serious money, you really cannot sustain the lifestyle that you have right now.

My Story: Well, she's painting a rather bloody picture for me. So, I can't splurge anymore? I can't be good to myself if I get married? What about having massages and facials and manicures and pedicures? Are they allowed? I had one man who shared similar backgrounds. But he's going to marry someone else in October. How am I going to meet someone who's in the same league?! What is really my league anyway???

Advice #4: A Good Catch...Is A Nerd!

Eri: Ya know, what's a great catch? Now that I think about it...NERDS! Nerds always win. Trust me...A nice nerd will be good to you. A nerd makes all the money in the world, will treat you nice since you are beautiful, with all the money, you can dress him good and get him a great haircut.

My Story: Well, I am not sure how to define a NERD. Besides, I dont' know a guy who considers himself a nerd. Nobody wants to be nerdy, right? So, how am I supposed to find myself a good nerd who's going to make it all happen for the both of us?

Advice #5: Keep The Gay Boys Around!

Eri: Gay guys are the most ideal guys. They are clean...they have great taste...they can be a girl's best friend, especially when the girl is always single. You don't need straight men when you have the company of fabulous gay boys. They'll do everything for you except for sex. What's sex anyway? It's overrated. They understand you like no other straight man can. They'll always love you and never break your heart. They make life interesting!

My Story: Okay. I get the point. As a matter of fact, I do have a group of gay friends who are always there for me whether I'm happy or sad. They're my support group. They've been with me thru my ups and downs and they're still my friends.

Jeremy, the mother hen of Asian gay community, describes me as "A gay man trapped in a woman's body!" Enough said.

However, I did have my heart broken twice before by gay boys. We were best friends and spent lots of time together. The friendship didn't survive due to miscommunication. It's also because of my neglect to attend their very sensitive personalities.

Conclusion

Eri's wise words definitely shed some light on this thing called LOVE. Life is great because I have a friend like her who's looking out for me! I give awesome advice when I deal with other people's relationships. In retrospect, my love life has been a total trainwreck. When will I see the light at the end of the tunnel?