Like Father Like Daughter
I’m A Total Daddy’s Girl
I’m the eldest kid in my family. Most of my friends always wonder if I’m the only child until I tell them about my siblings. In fact, I have two, a sister – three years younger, and a brother – we’re five years apart.
After I was born, my parents were ecstatic, especially my dad. He thought I looked just like him. My mom said she only had planned to have one child and she didn’t really care if I her baby was a boy or girl. She was happy with her baby girl and was ready to stop right then. However, my grandmother wanted a boy. That was 30 years ago. Chinese in-laws were ultra traditional and they would tell the young couples to keep going at it until a baby boy was born into the family. Now I think of it, some modern Chinese in-laws really have not changed much in the last three decades – they still insist the youngsters to reproduce baby boys in order to carry on the family names.
Being the only child for three years was truly a blessing. My dad was still working for my grandfather at the time. He had a lot of free time to spend with his first born – me. He bought a camera then and he would bring me to parks for some Kodak moments. Recently, I was sorting out and organizing our family photos. My siblings have very few baby pictures. I have at least 100 of them and some are even in black-n’-white.
After my dad set up his first company, he became very busy and always had to entertain clients after work. Therefore, my mom didn’t get to see him as much because he’s always at work or out schmoozing his customers. I don’t know whose idea it was but my dad would bring me along to dinners with clients. God knows why I would attend these all-men social events. That explains how I love socializing so much and always feel comfortable at a sausage party! I started at a very young age and I knew when to say “Cheers” and “Bottoms Up”.
Just picture this: I’m 2 & 1/2, dressed in a white lacy dress, sitting on my daddy’s lap, and making toasts to grownups. Of course, daddy had to do the drinking.
Every time I began to sense that daddy’s reaching the limit of his alcohol consumption, I would tell him to slow down. If the situation continued to worsen, then I would nag him to go home, complaining that I was tired. It always worked. You can’t tell a man that he has to keep chuckling beers when his baby girl is yarning at the table!
My Dad Is My Hero
I have absolute respect and the highest regard for my father. He’s almost like a god to me. Yet he is not perfect. I never have an idol. If I must pick a person to worship, it’s him. This bonding between my father and me is influential. My dad taught me how to drive. He taught me how to swim. He taught me how to shop. Yes, he did. My mom loathes shopping! He taught me how to dress well. He taught me how to enjoy good food. He taught me how to be independent while living abroad by myself. He taught me to keep my chin at all times.
One small regret: He actually tried to teach me how to appraise fine jewelry but at the time I didn’t care much for it.
My dad turns 60 this year and his resolution is to quit smoking and drinking. It is not easy to quit any habit that has been around three decades if not longer. He’s very determined. He made a promise to my mom and ever since, he’s gone cold turkey!
My dad is a self-made man. He had nothing under his name when he married my mom. He couldn’t afford to go to college because my grandparents just didn’t have the money. He started working after high school. He’s come a long way to where he is today. Aside from his employees, he also has about 20 family members on his payroll. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember.
My mom always brags about how lucky she is to be married to a good-looking man and yet responsible like daddy. I think she means to call him “a total package” as we modern women would say. She tells me that back in the days, girls would line up for my dad and all he had to do was to take his pick. My dad was smart. He picked the girl who may not be the prettiest of them all but certainly the smartest one. My mom married my dad one year after she finished law school. Back then, very few girls could make it to college, let alone law school.
The Man Of My Dream
Throughout the years, my dad never makes judgments or criticizes the men I date. Maybe he knows how much he has influenced me in terms of finding THE ONE. He tells me this, “If he loves you for you and takes you for whom you are, the rest will follow.” My dad certainly is the optimistic one among my parents.
For a while, my mom liked to nag me about being single and complained that I’m too picky or my standard is too high. She said, “If you’re looking for a man just like daddy, well, sorry, he’s taken! I doubt it if there’s anyone else like him!”
Every little girl starts to grow a hazy image of her ideal man as soon as she understands the idea of husband and wife. As she grows up, her surroundings begin to influence the foundation of her image of an ideal man. After entering adulthood, that image will eventually become clear and that’s when she knows what she is looking for in a man – the man of her dream.
The older I get, the more I realize that the man of my dream will share the winning characteristics as my father. The one that is the closest to my dad has to be RBT. He always smells good, dresses well, looks amazing in suits, has exquisite taste in the finer things in life, keeps himself fit and enjoys fine dining. His favorite brands of clothing are exactly the same as my dad’s – Ralph Lauren and Brook’s Brothers.
In a way, my father sets the standard for how I envision the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. The truth is I don’t want a man who’s just like my dad. Drinking and smoking are my dad’s two biggest sins. I am allergic to cigarettes. As soon as I started dating, I vowed that I’d never go out with a man who smokes. That rule still stands. As for drinking, I can’t stand it when a guy gets sloppy drunk and he stinks as a skunk. I have memories of my dad coming home late at night smelling like alcohol and my mom would make him sleep on the couch because of the awful odor.
Yes, my dad is a good package. However, I want my own package. I would like to be with someone who can share house chores. It’s best if he can cook. My dad never, and I do mean NEVER, helps with the house chores. Maybe it has something to do with the Chinese traditional belief and that is a man is always the breadwinner while the woman stays at home and takes care of children and everything else. He will leave dirty dishes in the sink all night so that someone can wash it in the morning. As a result, I become an excellent dishwasher.
Here’s an irony. My dad runs a factory with numerous heavy-duty machines but he does not know how to operate the washing machine or the dryer.
Actually, my dad is quite a gourmet chef. He often leaves the mess as it is and runs away from the ‘crime scene’ as soon as he’s done cooking.
Before I can find “my package”, I live happily under my parents’ roof and continue to be a daddy’s girl. Don’t think for a second that I didn’t try to move out. After college, I came home and then I wanted to find my own apartment because my mom was driving me crazy. My dad, a strong believer in family values, said to me, “You’re going to live with this family until you start your own!” Yes Sir!
Once you become a daddy’s girl, you’re a daddy’s girl for life! This is a lifetime commitment that no girl will ever regret!
