Are You Marriage Material?

In my 20s, I'd envisaged myself to be married by the time I entered my 30s. Next month I will turn 32 and I'm still one fabulous single lady!

So, I'm thinking...how come no one has proposed to me yet?

One boyfriend said, "I really didn’t think I was marriage material for you. I mean I know we are crazy about each other but your husband expectations are so high. Can I live up to you?"

Hmm. My expectations are high?! That's news to me. I don't recall making a list of qualifications for my ideal husband. If there's a list out there, I don't remember writing it.

Now what's intriguing about it is the phrase "marriage material". My question is "What makes someone marriage material?"

If a woman is domesticated, does that make her marriage material? Traditionally a woman is considered "marriage material" when she is able or willing to take care of cleaning, cooking and other jobs in the house, and to look after children if she has any.

Then what makes a man marriage material? Is it wealth? Or his ability to be the sole breadwinner in the family?

Recently I tried to fix up my petite friend V with a wonderful guy friend T. For a woman as smart and adorable as V, I don't understand why she would think that someone like T is out of her league. That's CRAZY! If they hook up, I swear...they will be THE COUPLE - a match made in heaven! Matchmaking is not one of my hobbies. But I have a hunch that they will be great together if V can forego the silly idea that she's not up to T's caliber.

In real life marriage, do couples worry about living up to each other's expectations and standards?

In all of my relationships, I don't ever worry about not being good enough for my other half. Perhaps that comes from the self-confidence I've always had since I was little. I know I'm just that good. It may sound conceited but I've told quite a few of my ex-boyfriends that "I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you!" And they agree with me =)

The hardest thing in any relationship is to BE YOURSELF. No holding back at all. Let yourself free. Most people put on their best behaviors in the beginning of the dating period. Once the novelty wears off, all hell breaks loose.

If you possess the ability to love and to be loved, then you're marriage material to me. And you will get brownie points for loving me for who I am!

Dear John Letter

By Definition:

A Dear John letter is a letter that a woman sends to her boyfriend or husband, telling him that she doesn't love him anymore or she wants to end the romantic relationship with him. It's what we call "A Breakup Letter."

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Dear John:

Every time Annie reads my blog and concludes that my stories are about you and me, I cringe at the thought of us as a couple. However, this time I am writing about you and me. Unfortunately, I should tell you that it's Goodbye Forever!

I wish we'd ended everything when we had the chance. For the past six years, we've been lovers and friends. You've seen me through good times and difficult times. And I've always been here when you need me. Even though my family and friends didn't care much for you, I didn't call it quits and continue to be your very trusting friend.

Not only you didn't cherish our friendship but you make up stories, lies, and excuses in order to deceive me. Not just once, you did it again and again. What for? I still don't understand and will never forgive myself for taking you back in after each heartbreak.

Life's gotta be tough when everything you say is phony. How do you keep up with all that? If you ponder about your next career move, I say Hollywood is waiting for you. It's rare to find actors who can play more than two roles at once and still remember his lines perfectly!

In the past few weeks, I've been seriously thinking about ending everything between us. At the age of 32, I should know better and make better judgments. When I look back upon our relationship, all you've given me are lies, lies and more lies. Even when you're busted for lying and cheating, you always find excuses to blame on others. Nothing is ever your fault.

You should learn how to say "I'm Sorry" with sincerity. I used to think that the reason we would butt heads in our 20s was due to the fact that we're young. After I became romantically involved with a younger man, I realized that you're just not man enough to admit your own shortcomings. It's got nothing to do with youth. It's YOU.

At this time in my life, I would like to move on and let bygones be bygones. And I'm afraid that I'm going to break my promise. It's a promise I can't keep. Remaining friends is a noble concept but you simply cannot honor any friendship. And I shouldn't waste any second on someone who does not deserve my sincerity.

For the first time in my life, I'm breaking a friendship that's burned me once too many. I learn my lesson - Never trust a liar and a cheater! Everything works out for the best. And I thank god for giving me this wake-up call before it's too late.

As much as I would hate to admit it, my mom was right about you all along. If I had listened to her, I wouldn't have to take part in your make-believe world.

I wish you true love without lies. I wish you happiness without cheating. I wish you honesty without scheming against your future love.

Oh dear John, good luck in your quest to find THE ONE. This is Goodbye Forever.

No More Excuses, No More Lies, No More Forgiveness.

Enough is Enough!

Yes...No...Maybe...So...

Yes, I think I'm in love with you. How? Why? I dunno. When a woman is in love, her face has such a glow as if she's been kissed by an angel. And she's becoming more and more beautiful, inside and out. Your love is like a beauty supplement that I'm addicted to and boy, it sure works like a charm! I take it as a compliment when people say I look like a woman in love. And I owe it all to you.

No, it's not okay that we're secretly together behind her back. Two's company; Three's a crowd. There is not enough room for all three of us. I often come home smelling like your cologne and you probably carry my perfume with you. Do you think she can smell my existence? She likes to pry into every bit of your life and she probably knows about us already. Do not underestimate a woman's instinct.

Maybe, I'm so drawn to you that I don't know how to escape from your love. Being able to go to work together has become such a fulfilling and yet simple pleasure in life. It makes my heart beat just sitting in your car while you caress my hand. It's happiness in its purest form. I don't mind being waken up in the middle of night when you pay me a surprise visit. I don't mind waiting for you to get off work so that we can have a quick bite together.

So, in my quest to find Prince Charming, we meet each other on the way. It's an unexpected detour but I'm glad that you've found me. Otherwise I would never have the chance to experience new heights of orgasm. I wish we had met sooner because I'm hooked on you, my sexual ecstasy =)

Goodbye Love

You said you started writing an apology letter a few days ago but deleted it all when you realized that none of it made any sense. Well, I would like to read the two-page "crap" you've written. What's the use asking if I'm okay after five years of abuse? Why can't you be true to yourself? If our friendship was that important to you, why did you lie about everything?

A simple "I'm sorry" just doesn't do it.

You said, "You had always been there . . . although it was hard to track you down sometimes, but you're there." It seemed even less sincere with that remark. It's rather demanding and chauvinistic to expect me to be available when you are in need. Why couldn't you just give me the compliment as it is? You know darn well that I deserve it! Tell me, how many of your so-called friends have been there for you as much as I have been?

Chauvinism has always been one of your unattractive personality traits. Your apology always comes with an excuse. You have to justify yourself even though your excuse is never good enough to justify what you've done. After the first time, your justification begins to sound like a broken record.

Every time you blame her for all the wrongdoings that you've done to me, You also blame her for the tragic ending of your relationship. You act as if none of this would have happened if she had more trust and security.

In the past five years, I never appreciate your self-righteous attitude when you make an apology. Your Emails and actions don't come across as sincere. Instead, I just see your self-righteousness. It's always about what you want and you being in control. That's why you're able to break up with her and waited no time to ask her if you two can be friends. You always call the shots and never think about consulting with the other party. I'm familiar with that pattern 'cuz you did the same to me years ago.

Years from now, maybe you'll realize that breaking up with her was a mistake. Will I become a bargaining chip again? After all, you two have been together for almost 10 years. Are you so sure that you can just call it quits? This breakup is only a beginning and you're foolish if you think she is going to let you off so easily.

In one Email you wrote, "I do like you . . . but I just don’t know how much. Maybe it is more than what I am willing to admit, maybe it is merely a friendship that I would like to continue . . . I don’t know. What I do know is that I would watch your network sometimes just to see if you are on, and you put me in a happy mood when we talk. I like hanging out with you ‘cause everything is just so easy. I want to be friends with you because you are interesting and funny. Somehow, I feel a connection. It had always been easy to talk to you . . .I don't have to explain a bunch, and you understand. One more friend in the world is always better than one dozen strangers."

A month ago I dropped you off at the airport in the middle of the night. Then I received a note from you saying, "Thanks again for everything. I wouldn't of spend my last night there with anyone else!"

During the past five years, you've used and abused our relationship. You don't always notice me because you know that I've always been here for you. I've had it and just fed up with your excuses. It seems I was regarded as dispensable - my feelings just didn't matter.

Now I wish we didn't remain friends after our breakup. It's never a good idea to go from lovers to friends. Best of luck in finding THE ONE. Obviously I'm not what you're looking for. I wish I knew that sooner. Life after 30 is just too precious! Ciao.

What You Should Have / Know If You're 30 and over

BY 30, YOU SHOULD HAVE:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come.

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.

5. A youth you're content to move beyond.

6. A past juicy enough that you're looking to forward to retelling it in your old age.

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.

8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.

9. A résume that is not even the slightest bit padded.

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

13. The belief that you deserve it.

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

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BY 30, YOU SHOULD KNOW:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.

2. How you feel about having kids.

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.

6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.

7. How to live alone, even if you don't like to.

8. How to take control of your own birthday.

9. That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.

11. What you would and wouldn't do for money or love.

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.

13. Who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally.

14. Not to apologize for something that isn't your fault.

15. Why they say life begins at 30.

(Source: Glamour Magazine)

What Are You Afraid Of

Anonymous

Work like you don't need the money.
Love as if you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing as if nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
Do the right thing no matter what.

Are You Lonesome Tonight, Girlfriends?

According to a recent survey, 90% of the white-collar in Taiwan feel lonely. Wow, there are a lot of loners on this island! I personally know a lot of great women, myself included, =) and I can't figure out why they remain single all this time.

Then just a few days ago, I finally understand the truth lies behind it all. My revelation comes from a book called "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses truth to Understanding Guys" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

All of us have experienced the good, the bad and the ugly in relationships. Nonetheless, truth hurts. We really like someone but he gives mixed messages. We live on false hopes and continue to make excuses for him 'cuz he is just confused and cannot commit yet. As a result, these ambiguous relationships put us in a constant worry, "He Loves Me...He Loves Me Not...Maybe Not Today..."

I can't help but wonder how come we girls just let men dictate our worlds while they're emotionally unavailable. What's in it for us anyway?! The pain? The heartache? The midnight sob?!

Anne says, "We've been together on-and-off for 8 years now. We broke up when he met someone else; but then he left her and we're together again; though it didn't last a lifetime and we're now separated, I know in my heart that he will come back to me eventually. It's just a matter of time."

Hooray to your new-found independence! 8 years down the road he never put a ring on your finger. It's clear that He's Just Not That Into You. It's not that you're not good enough for him. You deserve better, darling. You'll someday make a good wife / mother. A happily married life is ahead of you. The first step toward it is to let go the man who's been stalling too much time.

Joy says, "I love him so much that I can't even begin to describe my feelings for him with words. No matter what he does behind my back, he always comes back to me at the end of the day. That's love, isn't it? And it also goes to show that what I can give him is more than his other women. He needs me!"

You're such a good Samaritan. On the other hand, you're not Mother Teresa. So, listen up, sweetie! I'll only say this once and you'd better hear me out. Have you noticed that every time he longs for your love, he's also seeking some financial help? Let's face it! You're his meal ticket. I kid you not. Of course he needs you. He expects you to take care of him because he's a down-and-out drifter. You're a driven, ambitious, and talented woman. You shouldn't waste your time on a man who can barely cover his own living expense. If you feel like throwing your money away, I suggest you put it into a good cause. Need I say more?

Life is too short to be wasted on a man who's just not that into you. A very immediate task: Weed out men who give out mixed messages and men who cannot commit. Boys, you know who are! So, step aside and let the good time roll.

Enjoying a lovely afternoon tea!