Dear DIVA:
Why do men always want to be "best friends" or "good friends" with you after they find out that he and you don't fit??? Why??? -Ms. CC
My experiences tell me...
1. some men want to be my best friend cuz they know they can't handle me. They love me to death. So they don't even want to try, knowing that they'll get hurt in the end. So before we even try to be together they ask to be my best friends. We remain awesome friends. He takes me out for wonderful meals and drinks but he keeps his distance.
2. Some men like me from the moment we meet. They spend years observing me, my lifestyle, my way of living and my surrounding. Somehow we end up in bed together. They love it and adore me even more. But in the back of their heads they remember all the guys around me. They don't want to compete but they don't want to lose me either. They know that I always have the upper hand and they never get to say much or have any control over me. But they also think that I won't settle down so soon. They continue to be next to me, always available in case a real competitor shows up of nowhere they can react right away. It's what I called SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR.
3. Some men tend to quickly fall into things without thinking much. They search for a sense of belonging. So it could be anyone they meet, not necessarily me in particular. Soon enough they realize that they aren't compatible. They freak themselves out and go into hiding. When they're forced to deal with the matter all they can say is can we just be best of friends?
There's one thing I've learned all these years dealing with men and relationships. There is NO WHY. Just accept it. You can vent, bitch about it and curse if you like. But do get over it. cuz you never know who you'll meet next. You can talk about it like it's a funny story from the past. But no one wants to be with anyone who lives in the past and still have bitter feelings about what happened. It's not fair to the new guy you meet. What's done is done. Let bygones be bygone.
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Here’s a reply from a male friend:
I think it’s a bit too much thinking cuz the answer should be much simpler.
We want to maintain friendship as a bridge to your other girlfriends present and future; also still maintain an opening for possible sex. Usually the girl would initiate sex and the man just got to be there when she’s ready. Whether it happens or not the important point here is the possibility. No need to burn bridges rather than feel hated.
Of course we hope and pray that you won’t lose ours…keeping the doors open (call me for sex anytime! Yeah babe J)
We ask to be good friends to reduce the possibility that she might smear our good name. You wouldn’t be friends with a loser, right?
