What Women Want

Top 10 Things Every Woman Wants But Doesn’t Want to Admit She Does
(Source: Glamour / February 2004)

1. All the nitty-gritty details of her girlfriends’ sex lives.

Ain’t that the truth? We love talking about it, we love hearing about it and better yet, please tell us all about it as soon as you roll out of that hottie’s bed! Back in our hooch days, we would always gather for Sunday brunch and talk about the boys we recently ‘conquered’ since our last session.

Men do not talk about sex with their pals. However, gay men love talking about sex as much as the girls do. They give you the blow-by-blow. LOL. When you put straight girls and gay boys in one room, the sex talk can be quite stimulating.

During a recent Sunday brunch with my fabulous gay friends, I learned crucial information such as “To Swallow or Not to Swallow” and “Top vs. Bottom”. It’s fascinating stuff. Gay sex is a completely different ballgame.

Sometimes I am amazed how much information people are willing to share when it comes to their sex lives. i.e. a friend told me that she’s never reached orgasm via intercourse. It is startling news. Then I discovered that it’s a common problem for women. I can’t help but wonder, “Is she not doing it right? Or is her man’s performance not up to the standard?” Sex without orgasm is not sex. It is foreplay with a few extra humps but it does not lead you to La La Land. Bummer!

2. The epic downfall of every Miss Popularity she’s ever known.

It’s evil as hell. Women are very competitive with each other. Every so often, we would love to watch someone fall off her pedestal. You see, most of us have to struggle with the everyday life and there are some women just seem to have it all. We want to see them suffer. They can have the cake and eat it too. Some can even bake it and then eat it too. That is unfair! What is more upsetting is that they act as if they deserve it all and this world evolves only around them. Just once in this lifetime, please let that arrogant woman trip and fall flat on her face. She cannot be on that pedestal forever!

3. Shoes that look like Manolos, feel like Nikes and cost like payless.

Personally, I don’t own a pair of Manolos I have tried them on before and let me tell you, they are not comfortable. I think you will need proper training if you wish to wear Manolos. Any normal person will be wondering, “How can anyone walk in these shoes?” once he or she sees a pair of Manolos with their own eyes.

Every time I watch Sex and the City, I just wonder how Carrie can wear her favorite Manolos all the time, let alone going everywhere in New York City with those spike-heeled shoes. I bet Carrie has callus and blisters all over her feet. Yes, Carrie always looks so fine with her sexy Manolos but hey, that’s television! In the real world, Carrie is probably a cripple because she has tripped over her own shoes too many times. Here is an idea. HBO should make an episode on women who have a fetish for Manolos so that you can see their badly brutalized feet.

So far, I have not found a pair of shoes that are sexy and yet comfortable. It's a given - sexy shoes are never comfortable. You can have just one but not the other. That’s the way it is in the world we live in.

I’m a shorty. I love my platforms and high-heels – chunky heels of course. I don’t even wear stilettos because my feet cannot endure the pain. You can ask any woman who wears stilettos, “Are they comfortable?” She will tell you, “They are killing me!” 10 out of 10 women cannot wait for the day to be over so that they can take those damn shoes off. My biggest problem with stilettos is that I don’t know how to walk in them and balance at the same time.

Sneakers are comfortable but you can’t match them with a perfect black dress, let alone a ball gown. Every woman I know has more shoes than she can recall. Last year, I did a recount of the shoes in my possession. 100 pairs were accounted for. One hundred pairs!!! How did that happen? Hello everybody, I’m a shoe freak and I need help! I have no idea how much money I’ve spent on buying shoes but it’s clearly an investment. I loved shoes ever since I first set foot in Nordstrom. They have the best shoes. Nordstrom is a shoes heaven!

One time I was on a business trip to France in December. I walked by a Bally store and there was a huge Sale sign in the window display. I was tempted and decided to go in for “a quick look.” After I went in to browse, the rest is history. I bought so many pairs that day, the saleswoman closed the store so that she could concentrate on assisting me. I literally tried on every single pair of woman’s shoes in store but I also purchased more pairs than any woman would buy in one setting. They were good bargains and Bally does make good quality shoes.

Recently, I made a photo album for my shoes. I stuck the hardcopies on the shoeboxes and put together the digital photos into a computer file. My shoes are divided into the following categories:

Workout shoes – they are indoor sneakers and I only wear them in the gym.

Casual shoes – I wear them when I run errands in the neighborhood.

Sexy shoes – a.k.a. “Come and get me shoes!” I use them to allure men when I go on dates because they make my legs look long and slim; they are very seductive. They literally scream, “Come to Mama!” On the other hand, they can be my weapon if my date won’t go home after I tell him “Good night.” Sexy shoes won’t be so sexy after I pick them up to smack a guy in the head or poke him in the eye.

Dancing shoes – they provide good support and strong soles to endure an all-night-long prancing and dancing.

Shopping shoes – they have to be comfortable and yet not too casual. Gosh, you never know who you’re gonna run into when you’re out shopping. Must look presentable.

I like open toe shoes and I wear them all year long. Once I went to Baltimore in the freezing cold winter to visit my sister. I walked out the airport with my open toe clogs. My sister said, “Are you crazy? Put on your boots or your toes are going to frost!”

“No! I had a pedicure before coming here. Look at them! They’re sexy and just perfect! Who is going to see them if I can’t wear open toe shoes? Besides, close toe shoes are for rainy days. I see snow...but I don't see rain!” I replied. My sister just sighed and shook her head.

Thanks to my obsession with open toe shoes, I probably can never live in a cold climate. I will end up getting frostbites.

4. A big ol’ honking diamond ring.

Every man has his price. Most women I know want a rock that’s so big and shiny; it blinds your eyes. Nowadays, it’s all about showing off your Bling Bling! When a woman finally gets her rock, she can’t wait to show it off. She greets every person the same way, “Have you seen my ring? HERE!”

BANG! You see this white light, you begin to feel dizzy and you can’t see a thing!

My dad has given my mom quite a few rocks but she keeps them all in a safe. Once she had a 10-carat rock and she told us, “Whoever gets married first will get this ring.” I told my best friend at the time who’s a fabulous gay man, “Let’s get married and snatch that ring before my sister or my brother does.”

He turned me down.

Had I been able to convince him to walk down the isle with me that 10-carat rock would have been in my possession by now. My mom sold it recently for double the original price. I guess she got tired of waiting. A 10-carat rock is attractive bait and she just wants grandkids. She keeps telling me that she would like to be a grandmother soon. “Next time around, I won’t be as strict as the way I was 30 years ago. I am a lot more patient now.” In hindsight, my mom wasn’t a terrible mother but she didn’t seem to like kids too much. We had a nanny for years.

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Honestly, I just want a nice platinum band. That’s it. I’m not into jewelry and I get uncomfortable wearing too many accessories. They get in the way, y’know. Simple does it. A ring to show the world that I’m taken is all I need.

5. So much money that she can give away half, then lavish the other half on herself guilt-free.

Wanting to help others is a woman’s nature. If I am loaded to a point where I can afford to give half of it away, I will do it. It is a gratifying feeling when I’m able to help my friends. It makes me feel good about myself and in a way, I’m building up good karma. Everyone needs it. If you drive, you definitely need good parking karma. If you’ve lived in San Francisco or Taipei, you’ll understand the importance of parking karma.

On the other hand, most women like to indulge themselves and then they feel guilty about it afterwards. When women go shopping, it is an act based on impulse. A few years ago, my godmother found out that her husband had an affair with a younger woman. She was furious and bought herself a Porsche out of the blue. She didn’t even like Porsche but then she couldn’t return it either. She just let it sit in her garage.

6. A lover who just knows, no instructions required.

Men have the tendency to say this, “Tell me what you like baby!”

I like many things but I am not sure if they can do all the tricks. The truth is sex is not the same with everyone. Yet what I like is important but it is more important to find out what you can do, boy!

Have you ever had sex with someone who knows all the right moves and performs them perfectly? Everything that person does just rock your world and you won’t even have to say a word or guide him to find your G-spot. Do you know that feeling? When I do meet someone who is sexual compatible with me, I feel like I’ve hit the jackpot!

7. To be more like her mom.

When I was young, I vowed not to become like my mother. She was a compulsive neat freak. She was also overbearing and was always disciplining her kids. She would come after me for minor problems. i.e. she nagged me every time I forgot to turn off the lights. As a reminder, she posted a sticker on the light switch that said, “Please remember to turn off the lights.” Is that absurd or what?! My mother could not stand seeing dirty dishes in the sink. Even there was only one coffee mug. She would wash it and put it back on the shelf where it belonged. Everything in the house was neatly arranged and I would see her tidying things up ALL THE TIME.

Confession: the older I get, the more I become just like my mother.

I’m probably just as overbearing and compulsive like my mother. Last year, I had two roommates who believed in doing laundry every once in awhile. Seeing laundry all over the place was killing me! As a result, I took it on as my responsibility. I started washing their dirty laundry and their bedding sheets as well.

Once I visited an old friend and stayed at his apartment along with his three other bachelor roommates. It was a filthy place! Dirty dishes were piled up in the sink all the way to the ceiling! I couldn’t stand being in a pigsty. So I took the liberty to wash all the dirty dishes. In addition, I cleaned the house and vacuumed the entire place before I left. The boys were so grateful. With tears in his eyes, my friend said to me, “Our house is always your house. You can come by ANYTIME you want.”

8. Thin thighs in 30 days...no, 30 seconds.

It will be nice to have thinner thighs. My thighs are bigger than ever before. It is like a spell. As soon as I turned 30, my thighs got out of control and I don’t know how to stop it. HELP! Why don’t my boobs grow bigger? Why don’t my buttocks become perkier? Leave the thighs alone, damn it!

9. Power. All the power.

Women like to be in control whether they admit it or not. Some women use sex to manipulate men. That’s a power trip for the chicks and they enjoy it!

I love it when I can have sex like a man. I get what I want and I just roll over to go to sleep afterwards.

Men have no idea how this world will be a much better place if women are in charge! I admire men who let their wives take charge of all things. My dad says, “I’m in charge of big things and my wife takes care of the small things. In our house, there are no big things.”

We are not kidding when we say “Girls Rule!”

10. Breasts that get smaller when she’s wearing clothes, bigger when she’s not.

I have made peace with my breasts a long time ago. A female friend recently brought up the issue of breast implants. She was thinking about plastic surgery. WHY?

This is what I think of my boobs. They’re there and I like them just the way they are. Someday, they will probably sag and that’s fine. I won’t have breast implants just because my man says he likes women with big boobs. It is insane to even consider the possibility of getting implants.

Look at it this way. Will a man consider getting a pennies enlargement if I complain about his pennies being too small? I don’t think so.

The boob obsession is originated from men and that’s probably why they invented breast implants for women. Girls, just say NO if your man ever asks you to get a boob job.

My friend Jeremy is fascinated with my tits. He sees me on MSN and pops up a window, asking, “How are your tits doing?” My former fling Kevin used to compliment on my cleavage. “You don’t have like huge boobs but you have this very define line right in-between. It’s nice.”

Most women want smaller boobs when they try to fit into a tight dress; however, they would love to appear tittylicious when they put on a plunging neckline outfit.