It is a Chinese custom to treat your friends and family on your birthday. My understanding is that you should share your wealth or good fortune with others on your birthday. You do it for luck and supposedly, it works like a charm.
Not until I moved to the States, then I realized that friends would treat me to a nice dinner on my birthday and I wouldn’t have to spend a penny for I was the birthday girl – someone special. I can do anything I desire even if it sounds crazy and absurd. Whatever rocks my world, y’know.
I can’t begin to tell you how much I love birthdays. My passion for birthday celebrations began since the first time I blew out candles on a cake and discovered many presents with my name on them. It is as if Christmas except for it is even better because I’m the special birthday girl and today is MY DAY.
Some people are low-key about their birthdays. I always make a big deal out of it and love organizing parties for my friends when their birthday is approaching.
All my life, birthday is all about friends & family, good food, presents, and many Kodak moments. That’s how I was raised. In our family, we have dinner parties for every family member’s birthday.
When my grandfather turned 90, we rented out a ballroom in a hotel and a few hundreds of guests turned up for the party. It was the usual 12-course Chinese meal. The drinking didn’t stop until everyone passed out and had to be carried out physically.
As a result, I grew up believing that on your birthday, you have to treat your friends. When I was little, my parents would let me bring goodies to school on my birthday, which I shared with the entire class. I had my very first birthday party at the age of 10. I invited my friends to a restaurant for dinner and everyone brought me a little present. The highlight of the evening was the cake cutting and then I would start unwrapping the presents.
Back then, the parents would do the gift shopping. I remember I used to receive books, dolls (I didn’t like dolls and gave them away afterwards), photo albums (always needed one more), picture frames (one more couldn’t hurt), hair accessories (I had long hair throughout grammar school), journals and that sort of stuff. They were useful things. The kids nowadays probably receive fancy presents like Xbox, PCs and computer games.
Money vs. Presents
Aside from Chinese New Year, birthday is the only time I will receive red envelops with money inside. Let me tell you, I’m never disappointed with what’s inside. Supposedly, no one is ever too old to receive lucky red envelopes. I can continue to do so until I get married. Even if I’m 40 and single, I’m still eligible to get red envelops from the elders on birthday and Chinese New Year. That is more than a good reason to stay single. LOL.
Perhaps Chinese people are more practical. They just give you money on your birthday and then you can take the money to buy whatever you like. If you often receive presents that are not suitable for you, then money is a good alternative. Yes, I know giving money as a gift may seem tacky but it is the thought that counts.
My mom never knew what to get me for my birthdays and she would always give me red envelopes instead. However, my dad would try to be creative since I liked surprises. One year he gave me a Phillips Walkman. I was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to start listening to my own Walkman on the way to school. Phillips had just introduced their Walkman to the mass-market and Walkman was still a novelty.
Another time my dad bought me a Canon camera. That was before the invention of digital camera. At that time, no 11-year-old girl had her own camera. That was very cool.
On my 12th birthday, I received a Corum watch as a present from my dad. I didn’t ask for a watch. Even if I did, I probably would have asked for a swatch. In the 80s, every kid would wear a swatch because it was the trend. I remember swatch used to sell protective guards in assorted colors for their watches. What a weird concept it was! One summer we went to Switzerland and I bought like five swatches at once. At one point, I even joined the swatch club! What was I thinking? Swatch was such a fad. Now I don’t own a single swatch. Do people still wear swatch nowadays?
My godmother is a very generous woman. I love this woman! When I was 15, she bought me jewelries for my birthday. My parents were astounded at its value. For my 27th birthday, she gave me a big fat red envelop that had enough money for a one-week vacation from Taiwan to Hawaii.
Gift shopping can be difficult if you don’t know the birthday person that well. Just think about how many useless presents you have received over the years. When some people open presents that they don’t like, they have this horrifying look and their facial expression says, “What the hell is this? Why are you giving this to me? Can you take it back because I don’t want it?”
One year, I got a giant bottle of Grey Goose vodka for my birthday. Maybe he was under the impression that a party girl like me must enjoy drinking. I would have preferred a bottle of nice merlot.
Last year, my boyfriend asked what I wanted for my birthday. I told him to surprise me. He said, “You are a very difficult person to shop for.” I then put him in touch with my best friend and she could help him choose a present. They began a series of Email correspondence.
She said, “How about you get her a health club membership? She loves working out.” (Way to go. What a brilliant idea!)
He said, “What's in it for me? Can I just pay for the initiation fee?”
She said, “WHAT? You have to buy a one-year membership. You cannot sign her up for a gym and then leave her the monthly payment. Hmmm, why don’t you get her the latest holiday collection from bebe? It’s her favorite brand of clothing and she always buys one dress from the holiday collection.”
He said, “What’s in it for me?”
She said, “There’s NOTHING in it for you. It’s her birthday, you selfish pig. I give up. You are on your own.”
I had no idea what’s in store for me since my best friend couldn’t help him much with the gift selection.
Guess what I got on my 30th birthday.
He gave me bedding set, including two pillowcases, a sheet set, and a comforter. No one has ever bought me something like this. Then I realized that the bedding set was not just for me but also for US! When he would sleep over, he would also get to enjoy the set that is made of 300-thread-count, 100-percent cotton. Yeah, I can see what’s in it for him. Nonetheless, I like it a lot and it is what I sleep on every night.
There is one thing worth noting about birthday presents. It is merely my personal observation. When the economy is thriving, you get more and much better presents. On the other hand, you probably get crappy stuff or no presents at all when there is an economic recession.
Do You Like Your Presents?
A few years ago, I organized a fabulous birthday party for myself and covered the cost. It was an Italian buffet dinner served with all you can drink red & white wine. Everyone had a blast. The following year, my birthday was held at the same restaurant except for this time, everyone had to cover his or her own expense. It was not much – about $30 per person.
What’s interesting is that I received more presents the year when my birthday party was a free for all type. Half of the guests didn’t bring presents when they had to pay for the party, which is not big deal. I was so drunk that I lost a few presents.
Isn’t it weird that I remembered who gave me what? I was wasted!
The next day I called the restaurant to see if they had found my missing gifts. They said, “Only empty bottles all over the floor…you guys finished 50 bottles of wine last night!” Ai Yai Yai! After two years in a row, I don’t think they will ever let me set foot in there again.
Then I called my friend who gave me a ride home after the party was over and asked him to look into his trunk for my missing presents. No luck either. The missing presents were never recovered.
Todd called me a few days after my party.
Todd: That was a great party! We had so much fun and met a lot of cool people!
Me: I’m glad that you enjoyed it.
Todd: So, how do you like your present?
Me: Oh yeah, thanks! I like it.
Todd: (sounding awkward) Is it nice? I have to confess, I didn’t buy it. I sent my girlfriend to the department store to buy you something nice. She said that she got you a scarf but I have no idea how it looks like.
Me: (feeling embarrassed) In that case, I have a confession too. I lost it.
I lost the scarf from Todd and a book called Yellow from Carson that his older brother Frank recently published. The two missing presents remain a mystery.
Sorry Todd. I didn't mean to lose the present from you!
Happy Birthday to All the Virgos!
Quite a lot of my friends have their birthday in September: my friend Pete (2), Ed (5), Grant (14), Mary and Melvin (15), Angela (21), Debby (22), my ex (24), Uncle Paul & my soul mate Shiuan (25), Eri (27).
You know what that means? Their parents were busy in the bedroom during the holiday season. Many births in September were results in their activeness in the wintertime.
Grant had a birthday party last night. We had been talking about it for days. He wanted a party but he couldn’t decide on the location. I asked him to make a guest list first. He then stumbled upon another issue. He said, “Do I invite only my gay friends since most of my friends are gay? What about my straight friends? Some of them may or may not know about my sexual preference. Should I have a party for my gay friends and a separate party for my straight friends? Is it okay to have a mixed party?”
“I dunno. This is how I look at it. People will come to your party because it’s your birthday. What does sexual preference have to do with it?” I said.
For us straight folks, we don’t think about that. We just invite the people we like. However, not all my friends know each other. My birthday is the only time I can round up everyone in one room. Mixing friends together can turn into a total disaster, especially when some of your friends don’t get along. My friend Owen came to my 28th birthday under one condition: he wanted to sit far away from his foe, Mr. L.
The potluck dinner was a total success. He made pasta featuring red meat sauce and white cream sauce. He whipped up some homemade dressing for the green salad and the veggie tray. I don’t’ know how it happened but we had four birthday cakes. We felt much ‘caked out’ afterwards.
Half way thru the party, a friend called me up and wanted to know if I was free to hang out since he was in my neighborhood. I told him about Grant’s birthday party and he asked, “Is there a mixed crowd? Are there any girls?”
Honestly, his questions seemed odd. This guy has a girlfriend whom I have met a few times recently. Does it really matter if there’s any girl at the party?
“No. I’m the only chick here with a bunch of gay men.” I said.
“Oh well, I’ll pass then.” He seemed disappointed.
Some straight men can become uncomfortable when they are in a room full of gay men. I wonder why. If you are secure of your manhood, it shouldn’t bother you when homosexuals surround you. Don’t straight men nowadays already know that gay men surround us all the time? They are EVERYWHERE.
As far as I’m concerned, a sausage party is a sausage party. Unfortunately, there’s nothing for me to take home from the homosexual sausage party! Sigh!
Pre-Birthday Crisis
It seems only yesterday when I was getting the jitters because my 30th birthday was approaching. I literally freaked out and sought advice from my friends who have been thru it before. When you claim to be 29, you are automatically labeled as a young person. You are in your 20s. However, saying you are 30 is a different story. The sound of it just makes you seem OLD.
Everyone assured me that life begins at the age of 30. “Look at you, kiddo! You have not aged a bit since your college days. You actually look better as your age increases. You have turned out well!”
When people used to call me a kid, I tried so hard to appear mature and sometimes I acted too mature for my age. It was Kiddo this and kiddo that. I was tired of people telling me, “You are so young. You’ll understand when you get older. You are just a kid.” I wanted some respect.
As I’m entering my 30s, I thrive on anyone’s compliment that says, “You look so young. You don’t look 30 at all!” Now no one calls me a kid. Instead, I start calling my friends kids. Sigh.
I swear that life moves much faster as soon as I turned 25. Now, I am only six weeks away from becoming 31. Gosh, I don’t even feel 30 yet and I’m going to be 31 soon.
Every year right about now, I always start worrying about my upcoming birthday. I scrutinize every fine line on my face and wonder if I look my age. I start trying on itsy-bitsy dresses from my partying days (Yes! I still have them in the closet), hoping that they still fit me okay. I watch my figure closely and stop eating all the things that are potentially damaging to my waste line (there goes my favorite: ice cream and desserts). I get back on my workout regimen and push myself to exercise everyday. I do all of that with one goal in mind: I want to look radiant on my birthday.
After the birthday is over, everything goes back to normal. I eat whatever I’m in the mood for. I hit the gym when I remember to do so. A vicious cycle happens year after year.
In my younger days, I looked forward to my birthday. I couldn’t wait to get older and I certainly didn’t worry about looking like an old lady. Youth is such a beautiful thing!
Turning 16 was a milestone because I could get my driver’s license.
Turning 18 was a milestone because I was going to college.
Turning 20 was a milestone because in Chinese culture, a 20-year-old is considered an adult.
Turning 21 was a milestone because I finally had a legit I.D that had my picture on it.
Turning 25 was a milestone because I was a quarter century old and thought I would just stop aging then.
After 25, everyday went by like a flash. In my 20s, I looked at people in their 30s and I thoughts, “Gosh, they are old farts.” Now I’m one of them.
In one episode of Sex and the City, Charlotte didn’t want to celebrate her 36th birthday because she didn’t feel 36 and insisted that she was still 35. The girls decided to give her a “Phony 35th birthday party.”
You are as young as you feel. Since I feel 25 instead of 31, can I plan a 25th birthday party for myself this year instead of 31st?
