The first Tuesday of each month is free museum day at the Legion of Honor, de Young Museum and SF MOMA. He and I began our free museum day early, hoping to visit all three museums in one day. He told me that he was excited last night when he thought about spending a whole day with me. It was like our first date all over again. But the truth is that we first met in March 2003 and that’s more than five years ago.
The last time we saw each other was March 2006 and that’s when our relationship ended. Like most couples we had a lot of drama together but we had our fair share of fun as well. Not every relationship resulted in marriage but I always knew that he loved me wholeheartedly. When we were together, I felt very much loved. He could never take his hands off me. He would always hold my hand when we walked down the street. He would kiss me constantly, from my forehead, my cheeks, my lips, to my neck, my arms and even my feet. He would carry me in his arms or put me on his lap. He had so much love and affection for me that I don’t know if I’ll ever meet another person who loved me as much as he did. You may wonder why I gave up on such a loving relationship. Let’s just say that sometimes love ain’t enough.
Hanging out with an ex-boyfriend is something that I can get used to easily. I tend to keep in touch with men from my past. He understands me and knows all there is to know about me, including my pet peeves and my passion. He knows that I cannot stand messy apartments and my all-time favorite breakfast place is Home Plate on Lombard Street. By all means he knows me well and has figured me out long ago when we were still an item.
It’s a gorgeous day in San Francisco and we’ve just finished checking out the Legion of Honor. The fog was slowly disappearing and the view was absolutely stunning. And he asked the million dollar question:
“Do you still love me?”
Just like that, loud and clear he threw me off. He’s asked me that question before but I totally didn’t see it coming this time around.
Without saying a word, I just smiled.
“It’s either a YES or No, simple as that.” He pursued it further.
“I will take the Fifth on that question. I have a feeling that this is a tricky question.”
Honestly I don’t know how to answer his question and I probably need some time to think it over.
“You love me! I know you and you’re not the kind of person who has troubles making up her mind, especially when the answer is as simple as a YES or NO.” he grimes.
Is that right? Am I still in love with him or simply enjoying the affection from a man who still loves me dearly?
He said he thought about marrying me before I broke up with him. What?! Why tell me now? Why now? What does it mean?
“If we’ve gotten married, then you would become an instant grandmother!”
His younger son is 23 years old this year and a father of two little girls.
Me? A grandmother?! I don’t even plan on becoming a mother! Marrying you will be unthinkable!
