We just finished a birthday dinner that lasted more than three hours. We had too much fun and decided to move the party to a night club afterwards. How little I knew what’s in store for me later on that night.
Some of us arrived at the club a few minutes earlier. As soon as I approached the bar the hostess pointed at the corner and said, “That’s V’s boyfriend sitting at that table with his friends. Do you guys want to join them?”
HELL NO! Why would I wanna do that?! Do I look insane or bored to death?!
I leaned over and broke the news to her, “In case you haven’t heard - they broke up a couple of months ago.”
“Oh. Oops!” she was apologetic and yet it’s really none of her business whom the customers are dating or breaking up with. Both ways alcohol is always needed and she will probably sell more alcohol when a break-up occurs.
As a concerned friend I sent a text message to V and warned her that this ex-hole﹙Asshole ex-boyfriend﹚was also in the club.
It turned out that she already knew ‘cuz this ex-hole had called and invited her to come along as he entertained clients.
I guess my worry was unnecessary.
Then V came in, looking all happy. Her ex-hole wasted no time and literally carried her toward his table.
This ex-hole has two failed marriages under his belt. And his company just declared bankruptcy. He’s the classic example of a good for nothing man. Let truth be told: as her friends none of us liked him the moment we met him. But we had to be nice ‘cuz she was in love with him. He broke up with her with the lamest reason. Now that they broke up we can finally speak freely about him and say what’s really on our minds. No holds barred.
Some of us must be annoyed by the scene: V was sitting with her ex-hole and they seemed to be having a good time drinking and chatting. Next thing I knew someone went over and semi-forced V to leave that table.
But the ex-hole wasn’t having it. He came by the dance floor where V and friends were singing and dancing and tried to grab her by her arm. But V’s friends wouldn’t let go of her. Soon it became a tug of war while some of us began giving him the evil eyes. It was not only silly but ugly. To make matter worse V was sobbing. By now we’re agitated by this ex-hole and his foolish actions.
Then this dumb ex-hole decided to try a different approach. He turned to us – V’s friends and wanted to explain why they broke up. No one would even look at him. His attempts were in vain and nobody would pay attention to him.
In the midst of this mess he cornered me and asked the unthinkable, “Why are you mean to me?”
Dude, you’re the one who broke my friend’s heart and I’m the one who’s being mean to you?! You’re seriously delirious!
“Can you at least let me explain to you what happened? You don’t even know half of the story.” he begged me.
“Why bother wasting time on something like this? Let bygones by bygone. I don’t care if I only know half of the story or even less. I couldn’t care less. To us you’re nobody before you met her. Upon first encounter we didn’t like you but couldn’t say it. When you broke off the relationship you became our public enemy. It’s not you. It’s the fact that you’ve become an ex, just like all the ex-boyfriends in the past. An ex is an ex. You ain’t got a name. So don’t take it personally. I’m sure that you have your reasons but I don’t care to know. Every break-up is always a he says she says situation. So what if I’ll never find out what really happened between you two. All I can tell you is that it sucks to be you – our newest public enemy!”
He seemed puzzled and didn’t know what to say. I walked him out, put him in a cab and off he went. When I returned, I found V passed out on the couch. Apparently she’s been throwing up and literally backed up the toilet. Yikes. I feel terrible for the person who’s going to unclog the toilet.
Mr. Ex-Hole I wish you well but please stay out of my way if we ever run into each other in the future. Don’t try to cozy up to me. Don’t talk to me about why you two broke up. And do not act like we’re old friends ‘cuz to me you’re simply an ex-hole.
