Boy Toys Dropping Like Flies!
Not too long ago, my straight guy friends were all single. I used to joke around, calling them my boy toys. All of a sudden, they started getting hitched one after another. Dropping like flies, you know what I mean? I'm talking about boys who were big time players - they're the boys who just wanna have fun. I wonder if I can still call them my boy toys now that they're married.
In the last six months, four guys from my social circle got married. Is it possible that I missed out on four perfectly good catches and now they're married to someone else while I'm still single?
D.L. - New Year's Eve is what it takes to meet THE ONE
He's the one who started the wedding bell ringing. He married Amy. They met on New Year's Eve 2001. I was there. None of us thought much about it. They started going out and the rest just followed. They got married on the day of my 30th birthday and now live in Hong Kong.
C.W. - Platonic friendship goes nowhere
He was my platonic friend. I met Carson thru his twin brother, Nelson. We went out a lot when we both lived in Taipei in the late 90s. I thought Nelson was cuter but he's married. The ambiguous relationship lasted as long as I could remember and then Claire came along. He stopped calling to ask me out and I would run into them around town. They got married in Boston earlier this year and now live in Beijing.
B.M. - A perfect gentleman who's too good to be true
He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. In a note dated Dec.25, 1993, he wrote, "To the only real woman at USF and my life!" It came with a Christmas present but now I can't recall what it was. We met in school. As a matter of fact, he's the first friend I made when I started at USF in the summer of 1992. Out of all places to meet new friends, we met at the grocery store a block away from campus. He said to me, "You look awfully nice to be shopping grocery!" He was the perfect gentleman - very proper and very European. I used to think that he's part of the royal family - an European prince came to the U.S. for education. He also tied the knot to Carys this past May. They got engaged within a few months after their first encounter. I can't forgive myself for not making it to the mega wedding.
A.W. - A blind date may bring you a partner for life
He has the most romantic story that every woman dreams about. My friend Andrew, a British guy, lives in Singapore. In October, 2003, the day before his 40th birthday, his deputy editor fixed him up on a blind date with Ivy. They went to see the movie "Intolerable Cruelty" which is all about divorces. She hated his shirt and he thought her dress sense was poor. But they clicked and talked till 4 AM! He proposed 13 days later. They were married within 98 days! Ever since their wedding day, Andrew can't help but showing Ivy off all the time!
E.W. - he's got a baby face, he's got a feminine touch and he's straight
He's a sweetheart. He's so sweet that women assume that he's gay. Gay boys hit on him, assuming he's gay. He's 100% straight. You'll know if you hang out with him long enough and hear him talking about chicks. He met the woman of his dream. His wedding invitation arrived two days ago. I can't remember how we met. We were best buds. We talked to each other about everything, especially our relationship issues. In college, he had a girlfriend from hell. She wouldn't let him go out with friends. She was his social director. Most of his friends didn't like her. They broke up and got back together so many times that we lost count. I can't stand it when couples can't break it up with a clean slate. Then Donna came along in the fall of 2002. It was love at first sight, for him at least. I met up with them not too long after they started dating. When Donna went to the lady's room, Everest said to me, "I am in love! I'm going to marry her!" Their wedding is set on October 9 in San Francisco. Congrats, Everest!
Mr. Big - every girl has dated at least one guy like Mr. Big in her life ; my Mr. Big lives in LA
Mr. Big drops the biggest bomb so far. We were together during senior year in college. He's 11 years senior - I'm 30 this year; so do the math yourself. He once told me that men should date women who are 10 years younger. The reason is that men mature late. So, if you subtract 10 years out of a man's real age, you'll end up with his mental age. Does that make any sense to you? Now I think about it, he was just trying to justify our relationship to himself, to his friends, to his family and maybe, to me, because he, a working professional was dating a college girl.
The story goes that we met a coffee shop in San Francisco. I was there with my laptop, working on a term paper and sitting at a large round table all by myself. He came in with a group of friends and asked if they could join me. They started talking about weekend plans. He looked at me and said, "You look like you know where all the hot spots are. Any suggestions?" He bought me a glass of wine and we started talking. We ended up going on a date two days later. It was a week before Thanksgiving in 1995. It turned out that he used to live in San Francisco and had recently moved to Los Angeles. He was in town to visit his friends. We began a SFO-LAX couple, taking turns to fly north / south to see each other.
His Email arrived in my inbox this morning. It's a bit shocking. I don't know how to react to the news. This is what he sent:
Hello Dear Friends & Family:
Last night I proposed to my girlfriend Alexandra and I can't believe it but she said YES!!!
I met Alex over 3 months ago at Yoga Works in Santa Monica. I was sitting outside on the teak bench chatting with another student and out came Alex who joined our conversation. We exchanged numbers that night, went on our first date a few days later, and have been inseparable since. The wedding will be in October (plans to follow) and then honeymoon in Brazil. Alex grew up in southern California and has traveled and lived throughout the world. She has several degrees, and was most recently a professor of biology at Claremont College. Her next job will be at San Diego State University or UCLA. She's smart, athletic, outgoing, pretty and selfless. And she's got a great smile. I know you will like her.
That's it for now. Peace and love to all of you.
Wow! Just like that. Three months is all he needs to be sure. "I know you will like her"...so, no one has met her yet?
It's been 10 years since we met. After we went separate ways, we both remained single for quite some time. We kept in touch via Emails. I even went to visit him twice while vacationing in LA.
What happens when bachelors turn 35
It's all too shocking because after he turned 40, I thought that he had missed the prime to be hitched. And I always get the impression that the idea of marriage doesn't interest him. Let me put it this way: If there's a contest for the MOST WANTED BACHELOR WHO JUST WON'T SETTLE DOWN. He's it, at least in the top three among the guys I know. He loved being single and enjoyed having the freedom and independence. I remember the last time we spent time together, he just seemed so cynical toward women. It's probably due to being single for so many years. He complained everything there's to bitch about women and relationship. How little I know, uh?
I am puzzled. I don't know how something like this can happen. It just makes no sense whatsoever! Andrew says it's a new trend now for men after the age of 35. They can meet someone and BAM! They get down their knees and the next thing you know, a wedding invitation is in the mail.
Here's a theory I learned from a male friend:
Men are like taxis. After the age of 35, SUDDENLY, the green light goes on. "Commitment ready!" it signals. And they pick up the first available woman and get married.
It's all about timing, isn't it? Be at the right place at the right time. That saying goes for both men and women.
It's comforting to know that Mr. Big still thinks of me as a friend after all these years and includes me in this very joyful news despite the bride isn't me. For awhile, I thought he was THE ONE. Really, I did. Maybe I wanted him to be my prince charming because he seemed to have everything I wanted in a man. He's got a great sense of humor. He's smart, witty, and sporty. He enjoyed good food and was into yoga. He's the only man who's even taken me to a symphony.
He used to say, "Let's go get cultured, baby! And I'm not talking about frozen yogurt!" Despite the age difference, we had a lot in common and truly enjoyed each other's company. The fact that he was a working professional and I was still a full-time college student didn't affect our relationship. By then, he was the best catch that had walked into my life. It was certainly a brownie point when my parents met him, they liked him. Something about how Jewish and Chinese people are so much alike. Really? They both like money?! Anyway, it was the first time they approved of my choice of man.
Carrie in Sex and the city eventually ended up with Mr. Big. Well, my Mr. Big has been snatched.
Sigh...that was all in the past and there goes another one!
Now I have two weddings to attend in October. Everest's wedding will be in the Golden Gate Park, San Francisco. I would like to be there for him. As for Mr. Big, my guess is that it will be in Los Angeles.
Is it possible that when I show up for Mr. Big's wedding, I'll look at the bride and wonder, "It could have been me?"
