Any conversation that goes on in the dressing room of any TV station is a gossip central and important topics are often discussed here before anywhere else.
The other day I was getting hair & makeup done in the dressing room and chatting up a storm with my longtime stylist about the benefits of practicing daily yoga.
Me: “I think my boobs have grown since I started doing yoga a year ago. All that cobra poses seem to do magic cuz I was a 36B but the cup was never full and pads were placed to fill in the space; now I’m a full 36B!”
Stylist: “Since I’ve known you years ago your boobs have always been IMPRESSIVE.”
Me: “This is Taiwan and there isn’t much competition going on. But when I go back to the States my boobs make me look like a juvenile. Women in Taiwan have very distorted ideas about breast size. I was at a party the other day and there was this young chick bragging about her boobs being 34E. I took one look at her and burst out laughing; if you’re an E cup then I must be a J cup cuz just from judging your boobs with naked eyes your boobs are like airport runways – not a bump on it. You really give your own boobs more credit than they deserve!”
Stylist: “Wow! That’s cruel. You showed her no mercy! I bet she probably started crying when you talked her down like that!”
Me: “You know what will be cruel? When she goes to Victoria’s Secret and has the sales clerk take her measurement now that’s cruelty! Reality bites and truth hurts. Just suck it up like a chick. I think the bra manufacturer in Taiwan modify the sizing to boost women’s ego. So there are tons of women going around and telling people that they are E or G cup. Obviously some have been deceived and some are just oblivious about what real cup sizes are. I’m no expert on cup sizes but I’m well aware of my size.”
An anchorwoman was getting prepped for her upcoming newscast. We’re seated back to back. She was eating her bento box quietly and probably listening in on our booby conversation. Then anchorwoman turned around with curls in her head, right hand holding chopsticks and left hand carrying her bento box and asked, “So, between 34C and 36B which boobs are bigger?”
Me: “That depends on what you’re competing for. The number stands for your bust size and the alphabet stands for your cup size. B cup is handful, meaning if you grab the boobs and they should fill up your hands, well my hands at least; C cup is definitely meatier than B cup.”
Anchorwoman: “Is that right? I was always confused about bra & cup size. I definitely learn something new today.”
Me: “Glad to be able to give you some food for thought. Maybe you should include that in your newscast and educate the millions of women in Taiwan about their bra measurement ‘cuz this is not something you’ll ever learn in school!”
