Confession from a married man:
Yes, I'm married and NOT happy. BUT, I will tell you if and when she signs the divorce papers (hopefully she will soon) and I meet that "special" someone, I would get married again. So, don't give up hope, you’re beautiful and have a wonderful personality too, so you will find that "one" special person for you. As you’re getting older, you are getting wiser about what you’re looking for. I will say from my experience, the friendship is most important as once you have a great friend, all the rest is natural. In my case, my spouse is like a sister and nothing more.
My thoughts:
I always thought that I will marry someone I love madly. But in modern days love seems elusive as people have become fickle. If marrying a great friend will be ideal for the long run I will have to seriously go through the consideration on my list.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Another One Bites the Dust
Dear Mr. My Knight in Shiny Armor:
Thanks for your Valentine’s Day greeting. I hope you had a wonderful Valentine’s Day as well.
I have to admit that I’m surprised to hear from you this morning because you’ve disappeared for about 2 weeks – no calls, no text message, no Emails and no online chats. I didn’t know what was going on and I begin to wonder if this thing about us being together is really a prank. I was all for the idea of us spending the rest of our life together. Suddenly you were missing in action. Perhaps you got cold feet or realized that you didn't love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me. I honestly didn’t know what to do but could only tell myself that you were no longer interested and god darn it, shit happens. From the beginning I knew that a long distance relationship is likely to fail half of the time. But I thought faith could keep us together even though I loathed the idea of just kind of hanging there, not knowing what’s going to happen. You went from wanting to come to Taipei to meet my family to one week in Hawaii over Valentine’s Day weekend and eventually you just disappeared.
For awhile I thought I found my knight in a shiny armor. You didn't come through as promised. What matters is that it felt like true love at the time and that’s important to me. At least now I know what it's like when you think you've found THE ONE.
Five years ago it wouldn’t work because we were both so hardheaded but now we have grown up to be mature adults. We can be a happy couple if we want to be together. That’s alright. I respect your decision and besides, no one ever said it’s easy to maintain a long distance relationship. I thought I’ve found my knight in a shiny armor. I guess you had a change of heart then. I wish you well. Thank you for the fabulous experience. Knowing that I was once considered THE ONE for you is good enough for me.
Thanks for your Valentine’s Day greeting. I hope you had a wonderful Valentine’s Day as well.
I have to admit that I’m surprised to hear from you this morning because you’ve disappeared for about 2 weeks – no calls, no text message, no Emails and no online chats. I didn’t know what was going on and I begin to wonder if this thing about us being together is really a prank. I was all for the idea of us spending the rest of our life together. Suddenly you were missing in action. Perhaps you got cold feet or realized that you didn't love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me. I honestly didn’t know what to do but could only tell myself that you were no longer interested and god darn it, shit happens. From the beginning I knew that a long distance relationship is likely to fail half of the time. But I thought faith could keep us together even though I loathed the idea of just kind of hanging there, not knowing what’s going to happen. You went from wanting to come to Taipei to meet my family to one week in Hawaii over Valentine’s Day weekend and eventually you just disappeared.
For awhile I thought I found my knight in a shiny armor. You didn't come through as promised. What matters is that it felt like true love at the time and that’s important to me. At least now I know what it's like when you think you've found THE ONE.
Five years ago it wouldn’t work because we were both so hardheaded but now we have grown up to be mature adults. We can be a happy couple if we want to be together. That’s alright. I respect your decision and besides, no one ever said it’s easy to maintain a long distance relationship. I thought I’ve found my knight in a shiny armor. I guess you had a change of heart then. I wish you well. Thank you for the fabulous experience. Knowing that I was once considered THE ONE for you is good enough for me.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The Male Perspectives
1. What do men look for in a woman?
My source says, “Men secretly look for a woman that resembles their mothers because boys will be boys and mothers are always there to look after their kids. Men want to marry a woman who is a good wife, a great mother and a diligent housekeeper. Just like every woman grows up to search for her Prince Charming who’s very much like her daddy. Ideally dad is every woman’s dream lover. After all most women are daddy’s girls from the day they’re born!”
2. Do American men and Asian women make a good couple?
My other source says, “American men are fed up with American women who are tough and want to be treated like men. So when they come to Asia they find Asian women rather refreshing because they are feminine and take good care of their men. And these Asian women are overwhelmed by the courtship behaviors and realize that they no longer need to put up with Asian chauvinists. Both get what they want in the opposite sex and therefore an interracial relationship is likely to succeed.”
My source says, “Men secretly look for a woman that resembles their mothers because boys will be boys and mothers are always there to look after their kids. Men want to marry a woman who is a good wife, a great mother and a diligent housekeeper. Just like every woman grows up to search for her Prince Charming who’s very much like her daddy. Ideally dad is every woman’s dream lover. After all most women are daddy’s girls from the day they’re born!”
2. Do American men and Asian women make a good couple?
My other source says, “American men are fed up with American women who are tough and want to be treated like men. So when they come to Asia they find Asian women rather refreshing because they are feminine and take good care of their men. And these Asian women are overwhelmed by the courtship behaviors and realize that they no longer need to put up with Asian chauvinists. Both get what they want in the opposite sex and therefore an interracial relationship is likely to succeed.”
Friday, February 13, 2009
DON’T BE A QUITTER!
Years ago I had a boyfriend whom I considered an alcoholic. One day I asked him if he would ever quit drinking. “I’m no quitter,” said my now ex-boyfriend.
As some of you may know I quit drinking in January. At first I thought it was going to be tough since there are constantly parties and events on my social calendar. I don’t plan on staying home just because I don’t want a drink. My strategy is that I would drive to all these gatherings and if someone offers me a drink I have a legitimate reason to turn it down because I don’t need to explain to everyone why I’m not drinking.
The truth is that from last summer I’ve been partying and drinking like there’s no tomorrow. From late September till the end of October I was in the States for my annual visit and there was always something worth celebrating. Upon arrival I began a month long partying for my 35th birthday. Everyday is my birthday in November. Then it led up to Thanksgiving, more parties to attend before Christmas and then it was Christmas and New Year. All that drinking was taking a toll on my skin condition, my energy level and the worst of all - my waistline.
Honestly this new experiment of quitting something each month is a test on my will power to see how far I can go. In February I quit coffee. And this is harder than alcohol because I drink coffee every morning when I wake up. I’ve been drinking coffee for 20 years every morning and all of a sudden I stop drinking it. The effect of coffee withdrawal makes me drowsy and sleepy. 13th day and counting!
Apparently this going cold turkey style was caught on by others but there was no success. Some set for detox program for one week and didn’t survive past the 2nd day. Some aimed to quit drinking and ended up trying to avoid getting drunk.
No one ever said it’s easy to quit your sin. If you can’t bring yourself to stay on the program then perhaps some positive reinforcement can help. Instead of saying no, you say yes to hit the sack before midnight or exercise for 30 minutes daily. Give it a try and may your will power be strong! Don’t quit any chance to better your life in the long run. Don’t be a quitter on your beautiful life!
As some of you may know I quit drinking in January. At first I thought it was going to be tough since there are constantly parties and events on my social calendar. I don’t plan on staying home just because I don’t want a drink. My strategy is that I would drive to all these gatherings and if someone offers me a drink I have a legitimate reason to turn it down because I don’t need to explain to everyone why I’m not drinking.
The truth is that from last summer I’ve been partying and drinking like there’s no tomorrow. From late September till the end of October I was in the States for my annual visit and there was always something worth celebrating. Upon arrival I began a month long partying for my 35th birthday. Everyday is my birthday in November. Then it led up to Thanksgiving, more parties to attend before Christmas and then it was Christmas and New Year. All that drinking was taking a toll on my skin condition, my energy level and the worst of all - my waistline.
Honestly this new experiment of quitting something each month is a test on my will power to see how far I can go. In February I quit coffee. And this is harder than alcohol because I drink coffee every morning when I wake up. I’ve been drinking coffee for 20 years every morning and all of a sudden I stop drinking it. The effect of coffee withdrawal makes me drowsy and sleepy. 13th day and counting!
Apparently this going cold turkey style was caught on by others but there was no success. Some set for detox program for one week and didn’t survive past the 2nd day. Some aimed to quit drinking and ended up trying to avoid getting drunk.
No one ever said it’s easy to quit your sin. If you can’t bring yourself to stay on the program then perhaps some positive reinforcement can help. Instead of saying no, you say yes to hit the sack before midnight or exercise for 30 minutes daily. Give it a try and may your will power be strong! Don’t quit any chance to better your life in the long run. Don’t be a quitter on your beautiful life!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Why Men Secretly Love Being Married
A former male dating columnist for Glamour returns with his reflections on marriage, two years after having been married himself … and it just seems to get better and better.
Some of you might remember me as the (charmingly!) equivocating Jake who almost two years ago gave up the single-guy gig writing this column to get hitched to a woman known as Orange Blossoms, my longtime on-again, off-again girlfriend. I want to assure everyone that, even with a ring on my finger, I'm just as confused by love as I was when I was single. But I'm happy — and here are the reasons why:
The drama is over. And that's a good thing. Because while we still have thorny issues to negotiate — the little problem of how we both try to control each other, for example — the anxiety is gone. The whole business of "Is this the right relationship?" and "She talks on her cell phone inside of elevators; she must not be the woman for me," and "If I don't make her spontaneously combust in bed tonight, she's never going to sleep with me again" — all that stuff? Up in a puff of smoke. I have to say, life without the question of something being a deal-breaker is pretty amazing.
We can share our fantasies — even the ones about other people. Yes, I have sexual thoughts that don't include my wife. I've discussed this with lots of men, and they've agreed that extracurricular attraction never goes away. However, now I can talk to Blossoms about them. Not explicitly (the fantasies are rarely that graphic — it's more of a feeling, like, Yeah ... her ... yep, for sure), but we joke around about which women I'm drawn to, and then I hear about men she's checking out at the moment. Before marriage that kind of openness would have been impossibly threatening. Now? She's even taken to having lunch with guys in an attempt to keep things exciting but not dangerous. It probably seems unorthodox to a lot of you, but, weirdly, I'm in favor of it.
I successfully battle "we"-dom. In an effort to not be one of those husbands who use the word we too much ("We love risotto!" "We hate Beyoncé!"), I make sure that Blossoms and I keep our individuality as a man and a woman who will never have the same quasi-male haircut or unisex shoes. In her own related attempts, Blossoms encourages me to spend time alone or with my friends because we most enjoy each other when we have our own lives. That said, it feels more us-against-the-world than it ever has in the past, perhaps because ...
It is us against the world. Take the economy. I can't tell you how much more terrifying the prospect of losing my job or the reality of our decimated 401(k)s would be if I didn't know we had each other's backs. And it's an enormous comfort to know that as much as things change, I still have a few familiars to hold on to, like:
Being with her now turns me on the same way it did the first time. I am still a bit obsessed with her palpable intelligence, her curiosity and her sense of mischief. And nothing puts me at ease as much as getting into bed with her at the end of the day, shutting off all the lights, pressing against each other and talking until we fall asleep.
My wife continues to smell unbelievably good. She's switched perfumes (no more orange blossoms!), but there's still something about her scent. I don't think it can be reduced to what comes out of a crystal bottle; it's human chemistry. And no matter how many columns I write, I'll never be able to explain it.
MY AFTERTHOUGHT:
It’s an insightful article since men seldom show feelings toward relationships, especially marriage. At least now we know that it is possible for a man to enjoy being married while he may still check out other women from time to time. At the same time it’s encouraging to know that marriage is something that men will appreciate too.
Last week I had an interesting conversation with a girlfriend who’s married for 20 years now. She just turned 50. According to her observation I’m single by choice because I always fall in & out of love within a short period of time. And this kind of quickie has happened once too many. The relationship fails because it’s not built on friendship. So could it be possible that I’ve sought after lust over the years instead of love? This is a wake-up call for sure!
Some of you might remember me as the (charmingly!) equivocating Jake who almost two years ago gave up the single-guy gig writing this column to get hitched to a woman known as Orange Blossoms, my longtime on-again, off-again girlfriend. I want to assure everyone that, even with a ring on my finger, I'm just as confused by love as I was when I was single. But I'm happy — and here are the reasons why:
The drama is over. And that's a good thing. Because while we still have thorny issues to negotiate — the little problem of how we both try to control each other, for example — the anxiety is gone. The whole business of "Is this the right relationship?" and "She talks on her cell phone inside of elevators; she must not be the woman for me," and "If I don't make her spontaneously combust in bed tonight, she's never going to sleep with me again" — all that stuff? Up in a puff of smoke. I have to say, life without the question of something being a deal-breaker is pretty amazing.
We can share our fantasies — even the ones about other people. Yes, I have sexual thoughts that don't include my wife. I've discussed this with lots of men, and they've agreed that extracurricular attraction never goes away. However, now I can talk to Blossoms about them. Not explicitly (the fantasies are rarely that graphic — it's more of a feeling, like, Yeah ... her ... yep, for sure), but we joke around about which women I'm drawn to, and then I hear about men she's checking out at the moment. Before marriage that kind of openness would have been impossibly threatening. Now? She's even taken to having lunch with guys in an attempt to keep things exciting but not dangerous. It probably seems unorthodox to a lot of you, but, weirdly, I'm in favor of it.
I successfully battle "we"-dom. In an effort to not be one of those husbands who use the word we too much ("We love risotto!" "We hate Beyoncé!"), I make sure that Blossoms and I keep our individuality as a man and a woman who will never have the same quasi-male haircut or unisex shoes. In her own related attempts, Blossoms encourages me to spend time alone or with my friends because we most enjoy each other when we have our own lives. That said, it feels more us-against-the-world than it ever has in the past, perhaps because ...
It is us against the world. Take the economy. I can't tell you how much more terrifying the prospect of losing my job or the reality of our decimated 401(k)s would be if I didn't know we had each other's backs. And it's an enormous comfort to know that as much as things change, I still have a few familiars to hold on to, like:
Being with her now turns me on the same way it did the first time. I am still a bit obsessed with her palpable intelligence, her curiosity and her sense of mischief. And nothing puts me at ease as much as getting into bed with her at the end of the day, shutting off all the lights, pressing against each other and talking until we fall asleep.
My wife continues to smell unbelievably good. She's switched perfumes (no more orange blossoms!), but there's still something about her scent. I don't think it can be reduced to what comes out of a crystal bottle; it's human chemistry. And no matter how many columns I write, I'll never be able to explain it.
MY AFTERTHOUGHT:
It’s an insightful article since men seldom show feelings toward relationships, especially marriage. At least now we know that it is possible for a man to enjoy being married while he may still check out other women from time to time. At the same time it’s encouraging to know that marriage is something that men will appreciate too.
Last week I had an interesting conversation with a girlfriend who’s married for 20 years now. She just turned 50. According to her observation I’m single by choice because I always fall in & out of love within a short period of time. And this kind of quickie has happened once too many. The relationship fails because it’s not built on friendship. So could it be possible that I’ve sought after lust over the years instead of love? This is a wake-up call for sure!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
We girls grow up with a myth that basically ruined us for life. We’re taught that when a man is mean to you, it is an indication that he likes you. HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU solves the mystery and forces us to face the cold hard truth: He is just not that into you!
Remember the days before caller ID was invented? We used to pick up the phone because it rang. Now we look at the screen and determine whether we’ll answer it depending on Caller ID. When did we become so estranged from others?
So what is really the problem when there are tons of great single men & women still searching for THE ONE? Obviously men don’t know what women want and women read into everything that men do as signs. If you agree then HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU might enlighten you in more ways than one!
All the dos and don’ts in dating can be tricky. Women drive themselves crazy with every possible scenario. If he’s not calling you…if he’s not marrying you…if he’s not sleeping with you…if he’s sleeping with other women…
Even though there are such things as rules to dating 101. However, when the feelings are right anything is possible. In other words, THE ONE is the exception to the rules. On the other hand some may ask: what kind of feelings exactly are you talking about? Unfortunately no words can describe it and only you’ll know when that feeling hits you. And may I add that the feeling does fade since most people can’t differentiate from love and lust. So you have an affair with a married man. Just because he’s sleeping with you and has zero sex with his wife it doesn’t mean that he’s going to leave his wife or he loves you more. He probably is still in love with her but just lusting after you.
Dating is complicated. You fall in love with someone who treats you like a friend. And that person is crazy about someone else who’s married. You wonder what you did wrong or what you didn’t do. It’s not about you. It’s just not meant to be. Love works in a mysterious way. You’ll have to keep trying until you get it right. In the meantime keep your head high and utilize the time to get to know yourself better. Once you learn to love yourself someone will love you back.
I have a girlfriend who is aiming to become an Olympic hopeful in decathlon. For the last 10 years she really put herself out there. She may not know herself well enough but she’s clear on her lifetime mission. And that is TO GET MARRIED, HAVE KIDS AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. She feels that her life will be complete if she can accomplish this mission.
She doesn’t really know what kind of man turns her on but she is very specific about the pre-requisites: Educated abroad, sporty, English speaking with U.S. passport (1st preference) or Canadian passport (2nd).
She doesn’t know what she likes to do but she’s eager to learn what they are into. The first guy she fell for was into surfing. So she picked up surfing. The second guy loved snowboarding. So she braved herself in the snow. The third guy was a golfer. So she would drink all night and then head to tee off before dawn. The fourth guy went on a detox program for one week. So she fed herself only certain fruit and juice all week long. When asked why she did what she did, “it’s fun,” said my very clueless friend. She can name all the things that men like to do but she fails to do so for herself.
The moral of the story is that love can be closer than you think. And you should keep an open mind because you never know when love is going to knock on your door. It takes two to tango. Just because you two don’t click it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. It’s an issue of chemistry! There is no right or wrong in love. Most importantly you cannot force love onto yourself or others. When it fits it’s a match made in heaven; if not you’ll get to experience firsthand what it’s like to be in hell!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sunday, February 08, 2009
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Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Stimulations & Arousals for Women’s senses 讓女人欲罷不能的情趣玩具
Stimulations & Arousals for Women’s senses
讓女人欲罷不能的情趣玩具
Profile 檔案資料
Fun Factory (Tong-Ling Shop) 德國愛情遊樂工廠 (統領茶街專門店)
Hours / 營業時間
4:00 pm – 12:00 am
02-8771-5195
No.15 Alley 7 Lane 181 Section 4 Chung-Xiao East Road Da-An District Taipei city
台北市大安區忠孝東路四段181巷7弄15號（忠孝敦化站2號出口/東棧找茶對面）
www.funfactory.com.tw
創立於1995年的德國愛情遊樂工廠為女性設計高品質的情趣用品，以可愛的外觀、高級的材質和另人意想不到的功能為愛情玩具製造耳目一新的形象！在電視影集慾望城市中，夏綠蒂和米蘭達各自有使用女性情趣用品的情節，兩人玩得太開心居然捨不得出門，想必讓很多觀眾看得一頭霧水。不如走一趟德國愛情遊樂工廠，目前在台灣有三個據點，對於第一次上門的消費者，親切的服務人員提供詳細的解說。
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德國愛情遊樂工廠像是個情趣商品博物館，對於情人節禮物還沒頭緒的男性朋友，這裡不但讓你大開眼界，也讓兩人床第之間的樂趣達到最高點！
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