I didn't write this but a friend in California sent it to me. But I doubt that she's the author. However, it's funny, especially if you've spent time in California.
All the porn you watch is made here, cause we fuck better and thats
how it is.
We don't get snowdays because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe,
Shasta, and Big Bear.
can wear sandals all year long.
the chicks are WAYYYY hotter than your's
We go to the Beach - not "down to the shore".
We know 65 mph really means 100.
When someone cuts us off, they get the horn and the finger and high
speed chase cause we dont fuck around on the road.
The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you
live close enough to the border).
We judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked
where you're from, we give your area code.
We might get looked at funny by locals when we're on vacation in their
state, but when they find out we're from California I turn into a Greek
GOD.
We don't stop at stop signs... we do a "california roll"
No cop no stop baby!
We can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day.
All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here.
We're the Golden State. Not the Cheese State.
Not the Garden
State.....GOLDEN!!!
We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with
them).
We have the most representation in the House of Representatives.
The best athletes come from Cali.
Every good band comes from Cali.
We call it soda, not pop.
We have 3 NFL teams..Raiders, 49er's, Chargers.
…and 5 Baseball Teams..Giants, Padres, Dodgers, Angels, and A's
Other countries hate the United States but they love us.
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FRIENDS: Will stand by you while you piss.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will shine a spotlight on you while your drunk ass is taking a piss in the bushes.
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FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fatty you tried to pick up
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FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set
up rally points.
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FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...that shit was fun "
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FRIENDS: Cry with you.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: laugh at you
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FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Steal each other's stuff so often nobody remembers who bought the shit in the first place.
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FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.
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FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
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FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd
is doing.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
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FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
