As all my friends know, this recent trip to the States was long overdue. For two years I didn't set foot in the States. A five-week-vacation is not enough to make up for lost time!
During those five weeks, everyday was fun whether it's meeting up with my friends or simply enjoying some of the best dining San Francisco has to offer. Toward the end of it, I actually started to miss Taipei. For two years I felt homesick. You may wonder that I wanted to stay in San Francisco once I was there.
Well, the city of Taipei now is not the same as 1998, the year I relocated from San Francisco to Taiwan. It's a vibrant city which you can fall in love with after living here for more than a year.
I miss having convenient stores in every block and you can easily find three different chain stores side by side on the same street. They're open 24/7; I miss getting a back / shoulder massage followed a hair wash for 200NT (roughly USD$6.50); I miss all the goodies and delicious foods at the night markets; I miss NOT having a last call at 1:30, not to mention the bouncers trying to get you out the door by 2 AM; I miss being able to drink 'till dawn even though I don't like drinking all that much anyway. It's the notion that I can do whether I want to take it up or not. All these things make Taipei unique!
Of course there's no place like San Francisco! You gotta love it for the weather, the scenery, the diversity, the cosmopalitan and the liberal community. Keep an open mind and you'll fall in love with this city by the bay! Wouldn't it be nice if I can split my time between Taipei and San Francisco? I'd love to enjoy the best of the two worlds - East Meets West!
2006 is going to be a different year. I went through my "little black book" and crossed out all the negative energies that have been lingering around my life too long. Deleting all the information on my ex was a good start =)
He asked me what happened that made me cut him off completely from my life. Out of sight, Out of mind! It's the right thing to do and I don't know why I didn't take action sooner. All these years after we broke up, I thought that by being friends with him would prove to the world that I'm a bigger person - after what he'd done to me, I can put all that behind and keep him as a friend. What a bad move on my part! Because I'm constantly caught in a vicious circle of busting him for more lies and convincing myself to forgive again. Enough is enough.
Before I left for the States, I knew that it was time to end my relationship with my boyfriend. We met three years ago and nothing has changed much except for he's still in San Francisco and I now reside in Taipei. He kept talking about having a future together. Talking got us nowhere. He's all talk and no action. I was sick of it...blah blah blah and then what? NOTHING. I wasn't going to let him waste more years of my youth. Since he wouldn't face the reality and call it off, I took the liberty to let him go.
I spent the first few days with him and then nicely asked him to take me to my cousin's. He was dismayed to discover my change of heart but respected my choice. The last time I saw him was the night he dropped me off. He asked me, "When will I see you again?" I told him to call me and we could arrange for lunch / dinner / etc. He never called. In fact he never replied to my Email which was sent to him at least one week prior to my departure. I guess he's really pissed off.
Quitting the TV shopping had been in the planning for quite some time. I was not happy there. It was fun while it lasted. There were too much politics involved. I was subjected to discrimination in my own land because I didn't grow up here entirely and the fact that I just have too much personality. In addition I was labeled as non-local. If I were still in my 20s, maybe I would just swallow my pride and fight the system. But I already knew that it's not for me in the long run. So, why bother to give it more time?
There are two sides to everything. You can look at this resignation as the system failed me. To me, I refused to give in and quit the system. LOL.
I'm 32 going 33 in six months. Happiness comes from family, friendship, and work. Most people tend to think that work is just something to make the ends meet. I always love what I do and do what I love! When that's no longer the case, I need to move on. Life is as good as it gets if you keep moving on up.
Now I'm free from a binding contract and excessive relationship baggage, the world holds infinite opportunities! I feel like a weigh off my mind and I can move forward now. So I might not get a stable income from now on but the taste of freedom is precious. Since I came back, I'm actively meeting up with friends / business contacts to seek opportunities. I hear people raving about my hosting skills. Why not take one step further and see if I can do just that?
At this stage in my life, I'm much more relaxed now than ever before. I used to be this Go Go Go person...living in the fast lane gave me no time to pause and think about all the important things in life besides work.
Now I have all the time in the world to review the last 32 years of my life, I can see clearly now where needs improvements. We live in a world filled with information. In order to stay on top of everything, we force-feed ourselves all this so-called news. The reality is a lot of news are just useless. We should devote our time to things that are truly important. Nonetheless, only you can decide what's important to you because it may not be the same as my list of important things in life. My #1 priority is HAPPINESS. I know I'm on the right track because I'm in a much more positive and happy state of mind these days!
