Love that Ain't Meant To Be

You said you want us to be together and you'll make it happen. Two years down the road, we're still separated by the Pacific Ocean. You know that words don't mean much to me because I'd rather see actions. Perhaps marriage is a far-fetched idea for us. After all, we're worlds apart in every way possible. Not every relationship is meant to result in a happy ending. In case I haven't told you, we've done very well under the circumstances. In the course of my love life, I can't think of anyone who loves me as much as you do. And boy, you can really rock my world! Unfortunately, in reality, sometimes love just ain't enough.

From the moment we met, you struck me as a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I always wonder if you just hide your worries well or you just didn't give a damn. Now your family need you the most. You have to be there for them because your family have never let you down. I'm sorry for the loss of your father. It's your turn to take care of them as the man of the family. Responsibility can make you grow up overnight and turn you into a real man! My beloved, I'll always be your Chyna and I know that we'll see each other again somewhere, somehow!

For the rest of my life, I'll have to live with the sorrow over our incomplete love affair.

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I can't remember how it all began. Love works in a mysterious way and we became more than just friends. The common man will never understand the connections between us. We've been going steady for six months now. Is it love?
Lust! That's what it is. And we live for the risk of getting caught. What a cheap thrill lust can be.

You tend to feel overwhelmed each time I go out of my way for you. Don't worry. You won't have to return any favors. I do what I do simply because I want to. Years from now you'll think of me as the one who spoiled you to the extreme. We're more than friends with special privileges.

You leave me hickeys where no one can see them. And I take them as a token of your love. We both know that we ain't got a future together. You'll never leave her because you say that you can't live without her. And gosh, I'm green with envy when I hear that. Did you ever notice the tears in my eyes when you talk about her? I wonder why we got together at the first place.

I cherish every moment we spend together. It's precious time. It's more than what we deserve. Much of our bonding takes place between the sheets. However, intimacy alone isn't enough to prolong the forbidden fruit.

If she were to find out about us, you will deny it and take this secret to your grave. Though you promise to recognize my existence in your heart, that still makes me feel dispensable. I'd be lying to myself if I said it didn't bother me. In fact, that is why I should just leave your sorry ass. Because just like her, I need a man who can't live without me and loves me as much I love him.

You said that you never have to worry about me because I take a good care of myself. You said that you never have to worry about me being alone because I'm always surrounded by friends. If I'm just as needy,clinging, and insecure as her, will you love me more?

You asked what I get out of this relationship. It's TLC = Tender Loving Care = kindness, affection and attention. That's how you bring out the softie in me and lead me to discover the other side of my personality underneath my tough cookie image.

No matter what the future may bring, I'll forever be your lover and the big sister you dreamed of since childhood.