Men from Mars and Women from Venus! A girlfriend who has been married for years believes that it is not difficult to figure out men. She forwarded something called The Truth About Men. It is very interesting and funny.
There's some truth to it. So, read on and see if you agree with any of it! Maybe you know men who fit the descriptions below.
MEN
It's not so complicated!
(Really? Why have I still yet figured them out?)
The nice men are ugly.
(Oh yeah, there are some not-much-to-look-at men. They can give you nightmares if you gaze at them for too long.)
The handsome men are not nice.
(The problem with them is that they are Big Time players!)
The handsome and nice men are gay.
(Ain't that the truth? My life will be so boring without gay men. They lift me up when I'm feeling down. They are like boyfriends who you can't have sex. They can cook, clean, go shopping with you, and accompany you when you go hunting for men!)
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
(Forgive me God 'cuz I've done deeds with married men. Shame on me! My forever-lasting singlehood must be the punishment for being a bad girl!)
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
(Didn't someone say "No Money No Honey"? Nice men with no money might be looking for a sugar mama!)
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
(It is possible that we're after their great personality. Having money doesn't mean that they're generous!)
The handsome men without money are after our money.
(I have painful experience in the past. So, take it from me: Run as fast as you can if your man asks to borrow money. You'll never see a dime of it if you give him a loan.)
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
(The usual response is "Sweetie, you're just too much!" Can someone tell me what the hell does that mean???)
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are pigs.
(Yeah, they're sweet talkers. Always telling me how I'm all this and all that; but they probably tell other women the same thing!)
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank GOD are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
(Call me old-fashioned! I like it when the guy makes the first move! I've worked so hard to look good for you and I have to take off my own clothes, too? That ain't right!)
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
(He says: Damn girl! You're too aggressive for me; I'm like, Come to Mama, honey! You know you want some!)
NOW, WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?
(Honestly, married women have better understanding when it comes to men. That's why they're married while the rest of us are still trying to figure out why the guy who took us out three times stopped calling.)
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
(Okay. That makes sense. My question is how long does it take before they mature? When I'm hungry, I get cranky. It's not a pretty site to see a bitchy hungry woman!)
